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As part of my research of pop culture, I signed up for a website called Buzznet.
Everything was going great on Buzznet. I was making friends with hundreds of cute scene girls from ALL OVER THE WORLD, scene girls like Kaitlyn Snow, from Estonia. I was learning about hip new pop culture like the upcoming Twilight graphic novel. You know, for the people that don't want to read all the words, but don't like moving picture shows. I even found out the name of My Chemical Romance's lead singer: it's Gerard.

BUT THEN! I came across Sam VIP, and I had my breath taken away... far far away.

Based on everything I have learned about pop culture in the last couple of weeks, I am pretty sure that Sam VIP will soon be the next big thing. She is like a combination between Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, and Claire Danes.
Am I RIGHT? This girl is special! She is a special girl... really special.
Glen Bell, the founder of both Taco Bell and Wienerschnitzel, died on Saturday at the age of 86.
I know that this news has deeply effected several of my friends... one friend in particular... When my friends are sad, I get sad, so I am... sad.
I got sadder just now, when I went to the Taco Bell and Wienerschnitzel websites and discovered that neither had made any kind of move to honor or even acknowledge the passing of the man who gave them life, the man who gave their taste flavor combinations to the world.

So, I urge all of you to post these commemorative Glen Bell is dead, death logos on your own websites, blogs, and Friendster pages to honor his last... run for the boarder.


Here is a list of fun facts about Glen Bell that I put together, so you can share when people ask why they should care.
1. He FOUNDED Taco Bell. What else do you want?
2. He co-founded Wienerschnitzel. They have a new Coney Island Dog.
3. He divorced his first wife Dorothy because she didn't like Mexican food.
4. While in the marines he loved food so much that he was assigned to be a waiter.
5. A former employee of his at Taco Bell founded Del Taco. Yeah! This guy is directly responsible for Del Taco too!
6. He looked great in a sombrero.
Let me paint a picture of a man-boy, a legend in the making. This man-boy lives in the woods of the great northwest - Jack London territory - Twilight territory - Kurt Cobain land... you know, like around Seattle.
He lives like a James Bond-Goldilocks, sneaking into people's houses, stealing planes (he learned to fly from video games), stealing speedboats, using night vision goggles to hunt and live off the land, and supplementing his diet with pizza that he has delivered to the woods. Not too hot -not too cold - extra cheese and just right.

The painting of this legend gets bolder, more intricate with every detail, with every stroke of the brush, and I'm not done stroking.
Like Yogi Bear he doesn't wear shoes while snagging "pic-a-nic" baskets, but he isn't stopping at sandwiches, and Park Ranger Smith isn't the only one he is outsmarting. The police and FBI are hot on his trail for over 50 alleged burglaries. Did I mention that he likes to take "cheeky" pictures of himself with victims' digital cameras (in my book this means pictures of his penis wearing sunglasses)?
Who is this man-boy, this 18yr old legend in the making?
Have you heard of Colton Harris-Moore? You just did. Oh, and Jason Bourne... GFY!
Watch the video below, and read these articles to find out more.
Now that you are on Team CHM (Facebook Fanpage alert!) and love him more than Jacob Black, would you pre-order a copy of his video game?
What would you call his video game?
What would you call his movie?
Do you think that Mercedes should be paying him for his endorsement?

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!
Man, if stupid people didn't exist in this world there would be nothing funny on the internet.

Look, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this, and yes, just like you, I think it's kinda creepy and weird, but I'm pretty sure Dakota Fanning and I are going to start dating soon.
I have never met D-Fan, but after reading her interview in M Magazine, I feel like I have known her my entire life, or at least her entire life. She likes arts and crafts like knitting, and I have an art degree. Plus, my mom likes to crochet, which is like knitting for people who you don't want to trust with two sharp metal objects. She is a cheerleader at her high school, and I went to high school. She is in the Twilight movie series, and I want to be in the last Twilight movie.
Okay, so those are all nice things to have in common, but you are probably saying to yourself, "Chuck, Dakota Fanning doesn't want to date you."
You're probably right. She probably doesn't want to date me.
GUESS WHAT. I don't want to date her either. I don't like blondes from No-Ho, and home schooled kids creep me out. I don't care if she isn't home schooled anymore (all information "dished" and "spilled" in the M Magazine article).
WE don't want to date each other, but...

...her parents, managers, agents, paparazzi, magazine publishers, Perez Hilton, and TMZ do (this is an curtailed list).
Everyone around her is itching for her to shed her little girl image and move into the role of leading lady sexpot. Just look at the latest cover of V Magazine. They are doing everything they can to turn her into the next Heather Graham. What do you think Hounddog was all about, or her playing an all powerful evil force to be reckoned with in the Twilight movies? But, it's just not working, and they are scrambling for options. Miley Cyrus has already pulled the showing a little skin for Vanity Fair stunt. She can't "accidently" send naked pictures of herself to the press like those other Disney girls, or do a porn like Paris Hilton, because she is still underage, and her parents could face some serious jail time for something like that.
What's left?
Dating an older man... a much older man. A man of mystery... Someone who would really have people asking why... no really, why?
Who is that man? Me.
If she started dating Josh Duhamel, Josh Hartnett, or even Josh Groban, people wouldn't be all that shocked or interested. They would be interested, and a little disturbed by the age difference, but Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise didn't catch that much scrutiny over their ages. They are both famous and good looking, but imagine what kind of media hell storm would erupt if I started dating Tom Cruise... I mean D-Fan.

Things I couldn't figure out how to work into this blog post but I really wanted to:
1.D-Fan once played a young Ellen Degeneress.
2. Dakota is next to Montana.
3. D-Fan might be a C-Fan someday, keep reading M Magazine for the scooped spilled dishes.
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

Question 1: Is this a real photo or a still from the soon to be released hit sequel event of the summer, Coming To America Too, starring Tyler Perry?
Question 2: Is this a real world leader or some sort of Epcot Center exhibit?
Question 3: Do you know who this is?
When I was asked to write for Liquid Generation, my first though was, "Yes!" My second thought was, "What the F am I going to write about that people are going to care about?" I have no idea what is going on in the world, and I'm sure that you, the LG reader, don't want to hear about my mom making hats, my roommate Kate eating all my potato chips, or my inability to feel... anything... in my heart... I am dead inside...
So what did I do?
I did some research. I turned to THE source for mainstream pop culture here in the United States of America, M Magazine. Guess what. I was not disappointed.

Less than 5 pages into the magazine I came across this article about Serena Williams' recent tennis win against Mother Nature (must be Mick Foley's cousin). Apparently, Serena shut Mother Nature out in straight sets, proving not only herself as THE dominant force in women's tennis, but also showing great ethical fortitude, as apparently Mother Nature has been trying to bribe her by sending her a gift every month.

Okay, you got me. It's not an article. It's an ad for Tampax tampons, the most ridiculous ad for tampons I have ever seen, and completely indicative of the kind of slovenly work that is being done in every corner of print media - people all around are doing crappy jobs.
I couldn't find out exactly how much Serena is getting paid to endorse Tampax, but taking into account how much she has been paid for other endorsement deals, it is probably somewhere in the area of $3 million. The photographer who shot this ad probably made at least a couple of grand for a couple hours work. The art director's copy editors, and everyone involved made a good amount of money from putting this ad together, yet they picked the photo that looks like Serena is squeezing out a fart, not celebrating victory.
Maybe it was all Serena's fault. Maybe she never gave them the right look.
All I am saying is that if you paid me $3 million, I would start using tampons, I would make the right face in the photo shoot, and I could probably even take the picture myself... I have a camera with a timer on it.
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!
Google makes it way to easy to figure out what's going on in each other's heads. We prefer to times when we were stupid, ignorant and sexiest and Google wasn't all up in our business. Now every chick is going to know that all we want from them is to shave. DAMN THE WORLD, DAMN GOOGLE.

I have no idea what Michael Jordan's been doing since he retired from basketball, but apparently he's been sucking at Twitter. Badly. Almost everyday. This peak inside his brain makes us believe that he might be the most boring super talented person in the world. He's defintely no Shaq, whose tweets routinely make us go lolwhut (lolwhu!?!). Here's a sample of the basketball legend's greatest non-hits:

Clearly, Michael Jordan is your 55-year-old mom with a huge crush on somebody.

This is the only he can say about the New Years? You ate too many shrimp. You're a legend and this is your only comment about NYE. Fantastic. At least we know we had a better NYE than somebody.

TWO HANDS TOGETHER, PEOPLE. LET'S CLAP IT UP. MICHAEL JORDAN DOES WHAT I DO EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT AFTER DRINKING A 24 PACK OF PABST.

Clearly, Gizmodo should hire this guy.

Ok, we have to hand it to MJ. This is a question worth asking. If you're 4-years-old. Or high. He was probably high.
If you'd like periodic updates from LG, you can follow us on Twitter @liquidgen. We promise to be just as boring as MJ and not spam you.
I am Chuck McCarthy or Charles McCarthy.
There are lots of Chuck McCarthy's in the world, but one in particular really has me in a fighting mood. What Chuck? The retired MMA fighter Charles/Chuck "Chainsaw" McCarthy.

Sure, I dominate Google searches for "Chuck McCarthy" but if you search "Charles McCarthy" this joker's Wikipedia entry is the first listing to come up. This pisses me off for a few reasons. One, I have probably played a more important role in the history of MMA in the United States than him (I refuse to back this statement up with any facts). Two, I don't have a Wikipedia entry. I've been on TV, on the radio, in magazines, and I've definitely been on the Internet... a LOT. Three, I am bigger and proabably tougher than this... this "Chainsaw." Four, where is my cool nickname? Don't I deserve a cool nickname? Haven't I at least earned that?
What am I going to do?
I can't fight Wikipedia. I can't fight Google. Well, I could, but not with my fists... and I don't think winning either of these fights would garner me a tough guy nickname like "Chainsaw."
What am I going to do?
An open letter to Charles "Chainsaw" McCarthy:
Dear Charles,
Charles "Chainsaw" McCarthy! I'm calling you out! I dare you to come out of retirement for one last fight against me for the rights to your Wikipedia entry, Google listing dominance, and nickname!
Obviously we will both need to get back in shape and train for a couple of months. I will probably try to get Forest Griffin to train me. I guess you can train with your old trainer, or maybe Mr. T can train you.
Our training could be covered like the HBO series 24/7 - Chuck vs. Chuck 24/7. People are going to get pumped over our grudge match, especially Conan O'Brien, Notre Dame fans, Chuck Norris fans, and fans of NBC's Chuck.
So you aren't in the fighting mood anymore, but come on Chuck, are you really happy sitting at home in Florida, playing C.O.D. and getting BJs from your 19 year old stripper girlfriend? There has to be more to life than that... Don't get me wrong, that does sound pretty good, but don't tell me you don't miss the thrill of the fight. Yeah, I know she probably does it while you are playing and talking smack on your "headset" to Kimbo Slice about "head shots", but doesn't the OCTAGON call to you still?
One more fight... come on girly boy.
Sincerely,

Chuck "Soon to be Chainsaw" McCarthy
P.S. We shouldn't let the fact that we both look great with our shirts off go to waste.
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!
I dunno. I really can't blame the Boise State college girl playing cowbell in this video. I mean, she's playing the cowbell. That's a sad bastard instrument, like the recorder. And she's supposedly blind - which would normally be sad - but it's really just a blessing in disguise because now she can't see how everyone on the internet is making fun of her.
And yes, like the a-hole that the internet is, everyone thinks they're funny (and they are!)! Meme time!


If you're going to watch a sloppy, drunken meth-head go on a car chase, you might as well watch this one. Why? Because it's FREAKING ZANY. What makes it zany!?! Benny Hill music, that's what. You can put Benny Hil music to Schindler's List and it will be the most hilarious thing in the world. In fact, we were just going to make a video of this to demonstrate but we just remembed we're Jewish.
Pixar's Up meets Grand Torino meets THE MOST BADASS SADDEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD.

We totally approve of this union if only because TODAY IS THE DAY WE SEE PIGS FLY. TODAY ALIENS EXIST. THE WORLD IS FLAT. MAGIC IS REAL. GOD IS DEAD, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE SANTA IS REAL AND SO IS THE TOOTH FAIRY. EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE NOW. AHHHHHHHHHHH.
Look. Yeah we're going to keep posting about Tiger Woods because that's the only thing on the news right now. So unless Jeff Goldblum dies in the next twenty minutes or we just fall alseep while writing this post, this is what you're stuck with so just deal.
So far there are SEVEN girls (or NINE, nobody really knows) who have come out and said they banged Tiger Woods. That's a lot of secret phone numbers to keep in your secret iPhone which will eventually make it's way onto the internet so that your secret sexy sext messages and nude pictures will be seen by the world! Respect!
In case you were wondering which of his mistresses is the hottest, we've got that taken care of for you. We're even going to add Elin to the mix because we're worried she'll be jealous (she's suffered enough!). This was a relatively easy task because the girls all have their own look. None of them really look the same. It seems that Tiger's only requirment for banging a girl was that she had a vagina - that's it! So here we go...

8. Florida waitress, Mindy Lawton. She looks like one of our alcoholic neighbors. "WUD YOU LIKKKE MEE TOOO SEDUSH UUUUUUUUUUU!"

7. Rachel Uchitel. This an old photo of her. In her new photos she looks like this, but more plastic. And less like her lips are made of liver.

6. Don't know what Tiger saw in Jaimee Grubbs. We guess it's kind of cool that she was in Tool Academy. Wait. No we don't. There is nothing redeaming about this chick besides her taste in short red clothes. Moving on.

5. Porn star Holly Sampson. Now we're talking. Now we understand why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife: Elin obviously hated gay people. Holly Sampson supports gay people so much she's willing to wear a rainbow bikini on her boobs. That could be the only reason why he'd sleep with a porn star, right? RIGHT!?!
(click here to see the rest of the list)

Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon this sweaty, balding dude and his frumpy, snaggle-toothed wife. They are going to make a porno together. From the UK Sun:
Lisa Brand and Tommy Barnes have earned £1,300 from three X-rated movies and plan to make four more to raise cash for a beach ceremony in Cancun, Mexico, next June.
The pair, who have four children, have played a photographer and lingerie model who strip for a romp, and also appeared in a threesome.
Lisa, 34, even dripped hot wax on Tommy's chest at a motorway service station hotel to recreate a scene from Madonna's 1993 movie Body of Evidence.
She also spanked him with a paddle. She said: "I was laughing my head off.
"I have told my mum and most of my friends. They understand. It's always been our dream to have a fairytale wedding."
Tommy, 36, added at Macclesfield, Cheshire: "It's our five minutes of fame - something to look back on whe we're older. It has brought us closer together."
Yeah, Tommy. Five minutes of fame and LETTING THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW that your wife is in desperate need of some teeth whitening and Invisalign. REAL SMART.
So last week we posted a blog about the world's tallest model and whether or not you'd totally sleep with her. We do realize that this post probably neglected the ladies who come to our website (but not the lesbians!) so we just wanted to be fair and post some dudes for ya'll. Here's Andre the Giant and some wrestling midget. Now who'd you rather?

Would we sleep with Andre the Giant? Our answer is after the jump.
(Click here if you want to go after the jump, fool!)
After hearing about a new movie called Twilight: New Moon and that it's kind of a big deal, LiquidGeneration contacted the nearest middle school to see if anyone was interested in writing a review of the movie for us. This is the review we received.

OHHH MY GAWWWWD YOU GUYS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I SAW EDWARD CULLEN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I CAN TOTALLY DIE NOW. I PRAY THAT HE COMES TO MY SCHOOL AND SWEEPS ME OFF MY FEET AND ME AND HIM CAN RUN AWAY AFTER HE MURDERS BELLA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AND THEN WE KISS DURING STUDY HALL THEN WE HAVE SO MANY BABIES OMG THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOOOOD.
SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY EYES OPEN RIGHT NOW ME AND MY FRO9ENDS WENT TO THE MIDNIGHT SCREENING AND WE ATE POPCORN BUT NOT MY FAT FRIEND ANGELA SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A DIET BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GOOD FOR JACOB!!!@!!!! LIKE REALLY, ANGELA, JACOB DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST YOU WERE A FANNY PACK TO SCHOOL AND YOUR FAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE INTO YOU. MAYBE ONE OF THE GUYS FROM HARRY POTTER LIKE THAT FIRE CROTCH KID, BUT NOT JACOB. JACOB IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ANGELA AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT BUT I'M SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT BUT IT WAS SO NICE SEEING THE MOVIE WITH A BFF JUST LIKE YOU.

SPEAKING OF!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE JACOB IS GOING OUT WITH THAT GAWKY SQUINTY FISH FACE TAYLOR SWIFT. WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS ANYWAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS JACOB IS JUST USING HER FOR SEX EWEWWWWW. SHE'S SUCH A DIRTY SKANK IF SHE WAS IN MY CLASS I BET SH'E GIVE EVERYBODY AIDS WITH HER EYES. I H8 U TAYLOR DON'T COME NEAR ME!!!!!!
!!@!!@W!@!!@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!
THE ONLY THING I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IN THIS MOVIE IS BELLA. I'M SORRY SHE'S JUST SOOOOO STUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND SHE BITES HER LIP WHAT'S ON THERE ANYWAY? DO HER LIPS TASTE LIKE LICORICE OR SOMETHING OR IS SHE TRYING TO EAT A ZIT OFF THEM I BET IT'S THE ZIT. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A GOOD PERSON FOR EDWARD HER FACE LOOKS LIKE A TROLL. WHAT DOES HE EVEN SEE HER IN HER? I REALLY HOPE SHE DIES EVENTUALLY BECAUSE EDWARD DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER DON'T YOUTHINK? I MEAN, I'M SORRY IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME AMAZINGH PERSON WHO CAN COOL AND WILL CLEAN FOR HIM AND GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS LIKE I WOULD. I WOULD TOTALLY ROCK HIS WORLD IF HE MET ME I JUST KNOW IT...JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE EDWORD YOU KNOW YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVAHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TILL PARTY 3 COMES OUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!
LOVE YOU.
The internet will eventually destroy the makers of every web show creator in the world.