We have no proof, but the proof is in the pudding that is her crusty face and terrible weave, right (did this sentance even make sense?)? Whitney Houston looks like she's smoking the crack again! And who is that man standing next to her? Did he step out of a Run-DMC video or something. Sick hat, G!

(photo via Splashnews.com)

Some of you may know that besides writing blog posts about teen superstars and my eventual relationship with Dakota Fanning, I am also a screenwriter. I have written four feature screenplays, and of course, like 99% of all screenwriters, no one has even ever volunteered to read one of my scripts, much less produce it or air it a global television network (not even Spike).

Now, I wouldn't call any of my scripts works of total genius. They have mostly been exercises in futility with the hope of honing a skill that I can later sell to other poor schmucks that think that their story is worth seeing brought to life by Zach Efron and Suri Cruise (Silly Saturday rated PG for simulated farting noises). This said, I do think that all of my scripts are entertaining, and are better, more interesting than something say... A MONKEY COULD PUT TOGETHER! But I guess some "chaps," or more so, some "chimps,"  over at the BBC would disagree.

Apparently some chimpanzees have made a movie, and the BBC is going to air it despite a very weak plot line, worse cinematography than "Death Proof," and a total and blatant disregard for a hundred years of film making. Breaking the rules is something every aspiring filmmaker should try, but you have to understand the rules you are breaking to be groundbreaking.

Of course, just like James Cameron's Avatar, people are going to ignore all these flaws because of the fact that the chimps were using a new and special "chimp-proof camera" camera or "chimpcam." So what?! I've got a "chimp-proof camera." It's called a Flip HD.

Where can I go from here? I have hit rock bottom. I will never amount to anything. Maybe I should just start writing my outlines and treatments with my own poop.

Seriously, guys, chimps, bros, I'd love to work with you guys. I really respect your work and I have an outline for a ten movie series about a monkey named HAX. The whole thing is very high concept, so I can't say anything else without a deal in place. You love bananas. I love bananas. We could run this town. It's gonna be... bananas. Oh yeah, I definitely think we can get Gwen Stefani on board to do the soundtrack... yeah, and Ryan Gosling has already expressed interest.

"Take your stinking paws off my film industry, you damn dirty chimps!"  -Chuck McCarthy

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration today! 

Glen Bell, the founder of both Taco Bell and Wienerschnitzel, died on Saturday at the age of 86.

I know that this news has deeply effected several of my friends... one friend in particular... When my friends are sad, I get sad, so I am... sad.

I got sadder just now, when I went to the Taco Bell and Wienerschnitzel websites and discovered that neither had made any kind of move to honor or even acknowledge the passing of the man who gave them life, the man who gave their taste flavor combinations to the world.

So, I urge all of you to post these commemorative Glen Bell is dead, death logos on your own websites, blogs, and Friendster pages to honor his last... run for the boarder.

Here is a list of fun facts about Glen Bell that I put together, so you can share when people ask why they should care.

1. He FOUNDED Taco Bell. What else do you want?

2. He co-founded Wienerschnitzel. They have a new Coney Island Dog.

3. He divorced his first wife Dorothy because she didn't like Mexican food.

4. While in the marines he loved food so much that he was assigned to be a waiter.

5. A former employee of his at Taco Bell founded Del Taco. Yeah! This guy is directly responsible for Del Taco too!

6. He looked great in a sombrero.

I'm confused. What I really want to know is why nobody is bombed do death in this thing. I mean, I see lots of fire, a motorcycle, helicopter, some weird clown-looking dude who looks like he belongs in a Marilyn Manson video, but where are all the body parts flying everywhere. Everything about this video suggests that it should be absolute crap. I was really expecting Marissa Miller to be blown to pieces in this thing, but it just never happens. I always also expecting some sort of lame sidekick to pop up, or perhaps a talking robot. But none of that happened. Maybe this is a good thing? Could this be the first time that I've actually watched a Michael Bay directed film all the way through? I think it is. It's a freaking miracle.

Michael Bay, you are a genius.

There's nothing like waking up in the morning, turning on your computer, browsing the latest gossip about Selena Gomez and then almost vomiting all over your computer screen after watching a chicken being put in a chicken plucker. Ah, Internet. WE HEART YOU.