This conversation on iChat below is typical of most LiquidGeneration conversations throughout the day. Not really ashamed. We always keep it sexy and simple when it comes to Heidi Montag's ass.

See more of Heidi's fake exterior at The Supercial.

You know, we've never been a model before (because we're TOO GOOD-LOOKING), but we just know that if our only job in life was to look pretty and walk, we'd perfect the crap out of that. Really.  How hard is it to walk? Looking pretty you're born with, so that's in the bag. Walking - you do that since birth and to do it professionally should only take a few weeks, tops. That's why we don't understand when a model on a TV show fails miserable NOT ONCE but TWICE during her walk down the runway. She even takes a smack in the head by a swinging pendulum (wtf?). IT JUST MAKES US LOSE HOPE IN THE WORLD, YOU GUYS.

Over the years we've made A LOT of St. Patrick's Day cartoons featuring our favorite character The Angry Leprchaun. We even started using him for cartoons for other holidays because that's just how awesome he is - plus it's really hard to come up with good characters. He just works for everything  we want to do. And he's a drunk and drunks are always hilarious. Especially when they have Irish accents. So here's a smattering of Angry Leprechaun St. Patrick's Day e-cards and toons that you can send your friends today!

Note: Yes, the Leprechaun's drawing style and voice has changed over the years. That's what happens when you become more advanced and professional!

Don't Drink & Drive With The Angry Leprechaun - This one rawks. The Angry Leprechaun goes on a drunk driving rampage.

The Evil Leprechaun: Cabbage & Gravy - one of the first cartoons to feature the Angry Leprechaun. For some reason we called him "evil" back then.

St. Patrick's Day: A Girl From China - one of the more recent ones

Angry Leprechaun's Public Service Announcement - He does good things for the community.

The Evil Leprechaun: Lovely Lassie - Again, one of the first two Angry Leprechaun e-cards we've ever made.

Beer Before Liquor PSA - Another "More You Know" PSA...

Drink Responsibly - He sure did love doing these PSA. We wonder how many lives these things have saved?

St. Patricks' Day E-Card: My Darling - Send this too your loved one...

St. Patrick's Day Limmerick: A Good Looking Mommy - For the MILFs.

Enjoy!

We're always looking for different ways to make a sandwich, and usually the one thing we mess up the most is the type of bread we use. Not anymore. We don't even have to think about bread choices now because THERE IS ONLY ONE CHOICE: The Bread Glove.

Dude, we thought Amanda Seyfried was totally innocent the way she acts all innocent-like on Big Love. Apparently she's a big HO (just kidding! Not every girl who dresses up like this is a slut (only Heidi Montag and Lady Gaga!). Really we can think of nobody on Earth right now who is more beautiful than Amanda. It makes us want to buy a pair of whatever she's wearing so that we can be just as beautiful as her, too. Wait. That's the way it works, right?

More hawtness from Esquire right here.

Toby from The Office is one of our favorite characters ever invented, if only because we just love to see Michael Scott berate the crap out of him for anything he does. However, he is kind of creepy. Like serial killer creepy. And rape-y looking. You didn't even know that was a word, did you? Yep, "rape-y" is a special word used only for Toby from The Office. Well, somebody awesome took this observation and made a movie trailer about it.

People are taking their defense of Conan O'Brien right to Jay Leno, like this fan right here. Rumor has it that he's also going to make himself a firecrotch just like the ex-Tonight Show host. Sweet!

In other Conan news, make sure you secure tickets for Conan O'Brien's Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television Tour.

...well, if a baby was nearby he'd surely eat it at least. You have to wait for this a little bit, but it's worth it. Especially because it's not the biggest blow up we've seen, but it made us pee our pants just like the best videos where this stuff happens.

Five minutes ago we didn't understand the phenomenon that is Justin Beiber, but after seeing this picture we totally get it. Justin Beiber is transvestite with an obsession with his mom's makeup. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

(via Stand Up)

We have no proof, but the proof is in the pudding that is her crusty face and terrible weave, right (did this sentance even make sense?)? Whitney Houston looks like she's smoking the crack again! And who is that man standing next to her? Did he step out of a Run-DMC video or something. Sick hat, G!

(photo via Splashnews.com)

Stop holding your breath, people! The Conan has Twittered for a second time! What do you think? Does it hold up to the hilarity of the first tweet? Is the 2nd Twitt a Tweet That Can't Be Beat!?!

We kind of think he Jumped The Shark a bit, but okay, whatevs. He's has over 300K Twitter followers, while Jay Leno only has around 30K (LOL!). Maybe he knows what he's doing. We're not here to judge (LIES!).

BUT ALSO!

Conan's Squirrel is also in Twitterville, so make sure to follow him, too. HE LOOKS DELICIOUS!

This is what we're having for lunch today. How about you? How will you make yourself fat today?

When we woke up this morning and heard that Tiger was addressing the universe, we really couldn't give a rat's ass. Until we saw him make out with his mother, NOW WE REALLY CARE. Somebody has to stop Tiger Woods. It's getting ridiculous. First he goes and bangs half the porn stars in California and now it appears that he's also banging his mom. THIS IS NUTZO. They say he's in sex rehab, but I just don't know. Does this looks like a dude who's in sex rehab? It looks like a dude who can't say no...to anyone female.

Oh, Tiger. What are we going to do with you? This is just getting awkward.

She is not making origami, but trying to show us how to properly fold a paper more than seven times. Can It be done?

Dear Southwest,

I was saddened to learn of the plight of Hollywood polymath Kevin Smith. It is unfortunate that as the world grows in size, airplane seating remains mired in an age of smaller, trimmer bee-hinds. Having been a Southwest fanatic since being old enough to purchase airfare, I would like to suggest amending the customers-of-size policy before a tsunami of lawsuits overflows my favorite airline much like customers’ cheeseburgers overflow your armrests.

I have always been perplexed by the arbitrary rules chiseled into air-travel. 50lb bags are ok but 50+a pair of shoes = $25. The armrest rule makes sense but the width of the armrests seems narrow for the times and the overhead compartments have been whittled into wedges that discourage no one from stuffing in their bulging closets. We need change. The country wants it. And being who you are, it should be you to trailblaze.

Unlike politics where the goal is to grow bigger and spend more, business change can happen economically. At your core, your business is little different from that of any parcel service. You shuttle parcels from point A to point B for profit. Yours only happen to have heartbeats. And whiney demands. And peanut allergies. But at the very very core, the business is the same. The heavier the load and the larger its dimensions, the higher the cost of freight. It simply costs more to ship Mr. Smith and his colleagues in circumference than a group of people gymnast-sized.

So how best to handle arbitrary body-sizes? Formulaically.

At the curb-side checkin, Southwest should install scales where the passenger, with all baggage will be weighed. The total weight is the burden of the airline based on which the fuel is purchased. Computers will also size up both the person and the carry-on and decide how best to seat them and how much space will be required to make things comfortable for everyone. Customers-of-width can easily be seated next to customers-of-length without too much negative effect. Since size is arbitrary, so should be the armrest widths, and all passengers can have the option to purchase as much width as they like on top of their required minimum. Analogy would be choosing the right-sized box for your parcel except the parcel is yourself. It must cover your shipment but beyond that, your box can be as big as your budget allows. All collected data will boil down to a price which would be the passenger’s fare. Those watching in horror as a Mr. Smith-size person lumbers towards that middle-seat will know that even though the flight will be unpleasant, Mr. Smith paid more for his than they did. He should considering his greater burden. Given that we humans are fairness-minded apes, that knowledge alone would make things better. At least until the TSA requires stasis for air travel at which point you’ll just be able to stack us up any which way. Just don’t beak our legs like you do our roller-wheels.

Love & Bacon Grease,

Helga Mohammed el-Salami
SFF - Southwest Fan Forever

http://www.helgasmailroom.com/

Me and Kevin, right before he ate that child.

News Alert! Adolf Hitler is FINALLY on the internet and all he wants to do is MAKE A VIRAL VIDEO! YIPPE!!!!!!!!! Maybe he'll be just as famous as the Chocolate Rain guy!

Those people that pick on you for writing and talking funny. This is the face they make when they correct you.