There's nothing like waking up in the morning, turning on your computer, browsing the latest gossip about Selena Gomez and then almost vomiting all over your computer screen after watching a chicken being put in a chicken plucker. Ah, Internet. WE HEART YOU.

 
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Ladies: Please Take This Man's Virginity

By: LG Staff
November 13 2009, 9:10 AM

 

 

Introducing the lonliest man in the universe. His name is Edward A. Copernicus, and the last girlfriend he had was a special little female crayfish he found in the lake beside his parent's house. He courted her for weeks, and then he pulled out her legs one by one. Why? Because he's probably going to be a serial killer when he grows up and this is just what they do.

 

 

Amy Winehouse Has Fake Ones

Amy Winehouse Has Fake Ones

Oh, look who got a new pair of boobs! And from the looks of it they fell right out of a gumball machine and onto her chest. Now we know Amy is rich, so why does it look like she has a cheap a boob job as that girl in high school who got addicted to crack, like, ten years later?

 

George Clooney Is Up In This

George Clooney Is Up In This

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

 

Tricia Helfer and Grace Park Do Maxim

Tricia Helfer and Grace Park Do Maxim

Both of these Battlestar beauties can be found in the latest Maxim magazine, which we guess is still around and trying to make you horny.

 

January Jones Is A Special Kind of Hot

January Jones Is A Special Kind of Hot

Here are photos from January Jones' appearance in the latest GQ, a magazine we would have no interesting in buying if it wasn't for photos like these.

 

Name That Game 4: Settle the Score!

Name That Game 4: Settle the Score!

It's week four of Name That Game. Have you proven that you're a real gamer yet?

 

Whoose Boobs Week 131: Teen Queen Boobs

Whoose Boobs Week 131: Teen Queen Boobs

Whoose Boobs is the internet’s #1 celebrity boob game. We show you three boobs and you have to tell us who they belong to.

 

Jennifer Love Hewitt Might Be Photoshopped

Jennifer Love Hewitt Might Be Photoshopped

Guys, don't be ashamed to buy the latest edition of Shape magazine. It's much easier to buy than Hustler.

 

This Workout Will Give You Pleasure

This Workout Will Give You Pleasure

We debated posting this video for the last couple weeks because we didn't know whether it was pornographic enough for you.

 

Tara Reid Is On Bikinication

Tara Reid Is On Bikinication

It always happens a couple times a year: for a week straight Tara Reid makes the paparazzi take photos of her in a bikini, and for a week straight we laugh at her stomach.

 

Protect Horny Teachers, Don't Jail Them

Protect Horny Teachers, Don't Jail Them

This week Philip Norris defends a horny teacher’s right to sleep with one of his or her students. Sexy!

 

Talkdown: Harry Potter

Talkdown: Harry Potter

This week Lou grills Harry Potter on the final book, and finds out whether he dies or not!

 

Sexy Hermione Costume

Sexy Hermione Costume

If you're even close to hot you should do what you can to get this costume and bring it to the Harry Potter premiere this week.

 

Perez Hilton vs. Beeker

Perez Hilton vs. Beeker

Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?

 

Bret Michaels Is A Busted Up Clown

Bret Michaels Is A Busted Up Clown

This is the extent of Bret Michael's injuries after a prop kicked his ass at the Tony's last week.

 

Peter Griffin Torture Chamber

Peter Griffin Torture Chamber

It's time to torture Peter Griffin from Family Guy! You can hump his chin later!

 

28 Snorts Later: The Aporkalypse

28 Snorts Later: The Aporkalypse

From the director of 28 Days Later, his next movie 28 Snorts Later. Swine Flu is ravaging the world and turning people into Pig Zombies.

 

YouTube Whores with Henry The Internet Monkey

YouTube Whores with Henry The Internet Monkey

Henry is a monkey who sits in a cage all day and browses the internet. This week Henry stumbles across one of the most interesting species of internet being: The YouTube Whore.

 

Celeb Slutsicles: The Hills

Celeb Slutsicles: The Hills

What happens when a fake fight between LC and Heidi gets nasty? This week we get drunk with the fake cast of The Hills.

 

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