It was a banner year for the ladies of Hollywood. Never before have they dressed so fine, sexy and ready to give the American public a reason to fast themselves for five months straight.

Obama might be gay...at least according to the Globe, who we believe almost 100% of the time when we're really drunk.

She wasn't even nominated, yet she still won. Cheers.

The 2009 Golden Globes were an orgy of hotness. Now you get to decide who you think was the hottest of all!

If I could describe the 2009 Golden Globes in one word, that word would be "Boobs!"

From the visionary director of Pan's Labyrinth comes Hellboy II The Golden Army. Own It Now on 3-Disc DVD & Blu-rayTM Hi-Def.

Kate Hudson is playing a homeless hooker Jedi space alien in her new film, finally a role she can really identify with.

Britney's secret to weight loss is apparently time travel which raises the very real possibility of an alternate 2003 being created where she never meets K-Fed.

Gold Pills that are guaranteed to improve your "self worth" and make your "down under mouth" produce golden fecal-ness.

Not so smug anymore, are you France? This girl did not receive the gold in "bladder control".

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

The Golden Snub-Nosed Monkey is surprisingly cute, despite having a Michael Jackson/Skeletor nose. Lookit the little guy!!

Beyonce's performance at the BET awards was completely unmemorable, save for the fact that she DRESSED AND ACTED LIKE A FREAKIN' GOLDEN ROBOT! Why, bootylicious lady, WHY??

Puff Daddy was seen checking out Jessica Biel's Golden Globes on the red carpet.

Two of the best butts in the business get friendly at the Golden Globes. Thank you, Access Hollywood.

Sasha Baron Cohen makes his Borat acceptance speech at the Golden Globes. No naked man goes unthanked.

The most important boob game on the net takes on the least important awards show ever, The Golden Globes!

Boob days, boob days, dear old golden boob days.

This week the internet made fun of Chuck Norris, the Golden Globes bored people, Jolie and Pitt hyphenate they’re kids’ names, and Goatse frightens your friend.