Why so similar?

Ever wonder how John McCain would look in eight years? Wonder no more!

Food rules this week as Reese is fat, Bush is “Hungary” and Katharine McPhee can’t keep her lunch down.

You get ass-wasted everyday. Don’t you think it’s time to see what drink you are?

David Letterman sat down with Paris Hilton and asked her about the only thing he finds interesting in her career, jail time. The results are awkward and priceless.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

This online fitness check will test whether or not you're obese.

Life's challenging enough. We help by putting together the ten hottest actresses to take a turn on the pole and play a stripper.

After McDonald's stock took a dive, some employees were fired. Including Ronald McDonald himself.

That's what home movies are for.

Alert! Alert! Lily Allen is not exactly a fat slob anymore! She just might be bangable again! Alert! Alert!

Yes, Anna Kournikova is looking at your love handles and thinking she definitely doesn't want to bang you.

I don't know why Jesus say these types of things, but it's beginning to upset the children.

Reason number 57 why being an actor sucks: when you for real die everyone laughs and thinks your faking it.

Salma Hayek wants great ratings for her show, so she knows just what to do!

It had me at "cheese"

Somebody is a bit too eager to get a piece of Britney Spears' new body.

Your car breaks down. Do you push it to the side? Do you have sex on the hood? This sign offers no help.

These people helped push America off a cliff as they realized Miley Cyrus has a shoulder that can appear unclothed...and she's only 15! For shame!