News - Suck My News - Archived News - 2006

Screech Sex? Sickening!

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 04:25:55 -0500

This week we have Screech sex, terror torture, and Anna’s father fiasco. Philip Norris has the stories, and a 15 billion dollar MySpace profile.

Rating: 5/5 | 7903 views | 2 comments

Anna's Dead Son = $$$

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:00:00 -0500

Anna Nicole makes cash, Spinach makes you sick, and the Paparazzi makes Diaz’s day. Philip Norris has the stories, and he’s hopped up on “Cocaine.”

Rating: 3.2/5 | 14811 views | 0 comments

Oops I Had A Baby Again

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 12:00:00 -0500

Britney blasts out her second baby, The Pope blasts Islam and Madonna blasts off. Philip Norris knows it all – because he’s not a stupid woman.

Rating: 4.1/5 | 16849 views | 0 comments

Crock Croaks

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 00:00:00 -0500

The Hunter’s no more, Suri is adored, and Paris is a drunken whore. Philip Norris delivers the stories, but not via a C-Section.

Rating: 3.6/5 | 14751 views | 0 comments

Bad Musicians / Retarded Couples

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Jessica bangs John Meyer, Israel’s bombs explode, and a polygamist leader blasts off to jail. Philip Norris has the stories – and he’s completely un-Photoshopped.

Rating: 4/5 | 13025 views | 0 comments

Mission: Impossible to Work With

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Tom Cruise got fired, Israel is fired up, and Survivor is heating up… with racism! Philip Norris has the stories, unless he embarrasses himself trying to rap.

Rating: 3.7/5 | 11577 views | 0 comments

Terror-whiffed

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Terrorists go to jail, Robin Williams goes to rehab, and Heather Mills goes fence-hopping. Philip Norris has the stories… and photos of Suri?

Rating: 3.6/5 | 14274 views | 0 comments

Total Mel-Tdown

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Mel faces Jail, New York faces heat, and Paris faces the press (and looks dumb). Philip Norris has the latest, and doesn’t have sex with boys!

Rating: 3.7/5 | 13903 views | 0 comments

Lance Is Bass-ically Gay!

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Lance is out, Al Qaida wants war, and the Tour De France is a crack house. Philip Norris is on the scene – unless he gets hit by the Girls Gone Wild bus.

Rating: 3.7/5 | 14103 views | 1 comments

Child Star Almost Dies

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 21 Jul 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Haley wrecked his car, Snakes switched to trains, and there’s no privacy at the sperm bank. Philip Norris is your man, although he’s too much of a pussy to go to the Middle East right now.

Rating: 3.5/5 | 15614 views | 0 comments

Kevin Feder-Lying?

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Will K-Fed’s alleged cheating be the straw that breaks the crying, pregnant camel’s back?

Rating: 3.7/5 | 15209 views | 0 comments

The Great Suri Search

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Is Suri Cruise an imaginary baby? Which game system is for racists? Which celebrity roof caught on fire? Philip Norris has the answers!

Rating: 3.5/5 | 13968 views | 0 comments

Star Jones Has No Job

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 30 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Star Jones wallows in self pity, Wacko Jacko moves to Europe and Jessica isn’t good enough for Dallas.

Rating: 3.8/5 | 2198 views | 0 comments

Reese Is Not Pregnant

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Food rules this week as Reese is fat, Bush is “Hungary” and Katharine McPhee can’t keep her lunch down.

Rating: 3.7/5 | 2017 views | 0 comments

Britney Is A Good Mom

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week Britney can chew gum and lie at the same time, Stephen Hawking is a cripple, Daryl Hannah was arrested, and Brad Pitt is making Zombie Movies.

Rating: 4/5 | 20666 views | 0 comments

Brangelina's African Souvenir

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0500

The hottest new baby – that’s NOT a Scientologist!

Rating: 4.1/5 | 21299 views | 0 comments

Anna Nicole Creates Demon Offspring

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Someone had sex with Anna Nicole and Batwoman is a huge lesbo.

Rating: 3.6/5 | 33126 views | 0 comments

McPheever Cured!

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 26 May 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Taylor Hicks wins Idol. America wins a giant text messaging bill.

Rating: 3.9/5 | 20741 views | 0 comments

Fire Crotchgate

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 19 May 2006 00:00:00 -0500

Philip Norris gives you the inside scoop on Lindsay, Paris and the fat sweaty guy no one likes!

Rating: 4/5 | 24400 views | 0 comments

Brad's Holding Orphans for Angelina

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week Michael Douglas lashes out at Bradgenlina, Jessica Simpson is almost preggers, Kanye West is the next Oliver Stone and more!

Rating: 3.6/5 | 35204 views | 0 comments

BRIT TO GIVE BIRTH TO 2ND DEVIL CHILD?

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week Britney Spears might be pregnant, President Bush is unpopular with the polls, Scott Stap is a douche bag, and more signs of the Apocalypse.

Rating: 3.4/5 | 43572 views | 0 comments

Dick Cheney's Duck Hunt

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 17 Feb 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week Dick Cheney shoots a man, TomKat almost breaks up, and Kid Rock and Scott Stapp touch magic sticks. Disgusting, weird and newsworthy.

Rating: 4/5 | 30844 views | 0 comments

Britney Is A Sucky Mother

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week Britney Spears almost kills her child, the world almost explodes, and other heartbreaking things that make you happy.

Rating: 3.7/5 | 48879 views | 0 comments

Vegas Loves Hooters

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 03 Feb 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week Hooters Casino opens in Las Vegas, a Full House actress is addicted to crystal meth, and there’s a Superbowl game or something.

Rating: 3.8/5 | 40021 views | 0 comments

Clay Is Not Gay?

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week Bush will address the nation, Google loves the communists, Joaquin Phoenix almost dies, Chris Penn does die, and Clay Aiken is gay.

Rating: 3.9/5 | 41327 views | 0 comments

Chuck Norris Surfs The Net

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 20 Jan 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week the internet made fun of Chuck Norris, the Golden Globes bored people, Jolie and Pitt hyphenate they’re kids’ names, and Goatse frightens your friend.

Rating: 3.8/5 | 39898 views | 0 comments

Bradgenlina Is Preggers

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week Angelina Jolie is pregnant, New Jersey has a new slogan, Pam Anderson hates KFC, and David Hassellhoff is getting a divorce!

Rating: 3.7/5 | 38643 views | 0 comments

Lohan's Last Snort

2006_Archived_News ( Liquid Generation) — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 00:00:00 -0500

This week Lindsay Lohan admits that she’s skinny and that she’s done snorting drugs. Yeah, whatever Lindsay!

Rating: 3.8/5 | 46926 views | 0 comments