News - Suck My News - All Suck My News

Miley Cyrus In Playboy?

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 09 May 2008 18:07:56 -0500

This week Philip Norris comments on Hugh Hefners comment about Miley Cyrus in Playboy, and how people are into some weird sex crap.

Rating: 0/5 | 3247 views | 1 comments

American Idol Is Fake!

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Thu, 01 May 2008 17:55:07 -0500

Paula Abdul screwed up and now everybody knows that American Idol is fake!

Rating: 0/5 | 4980 views | 3 comments

Megan Fox Is Foxy

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:51:11 -0500

She's Brian Austin Green's girlfriend, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't respect her sexiest! Philip Norris has more...

Rating: 0/5 | 3458 views | 1 comments

Ashlee Simpson Preps For Divorce

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:45:03 -0500

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!

Rating: 0/5 | 5602 views | 4 comments

Perez Hilton Should Die

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:26:07 -0500

Like you, Philip Norris believes that Perez Hilton is an idiot.

Rating: 0/5 | 4038 views | 7 comments

Richie Sambora Is Drunk

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:24:07 -0500

This week your pal Philip Norris rants about how big of an idiot Richie Sambora is for driving drunk with his 10-year-old daughter in the car.

Rating: 0/5 | 2511 views | 1 comments

Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape?

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:22:18 -0500

Philip Norris discusses the art of the celebrity sex tape.

Rating: 0/5 | 49591 views | 8 comments

Eliot Spitzer Hearts Whores

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:16:45 -0500

Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.

Rating: 0/5 | 4373 views | 5 comments

Oscars Didn't Miss Jared Leto

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 12:48:31 -0500

This week Philip Norris explains why you have really bad taste in movies. BTW Jared Leto is a tool.

Rating: 0/5 | 6055 views | 4 comments

Lindsay Lohan's Nude Photos Will Kill You

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 11:53:09 -0500

Lindsay Lohan got all nude on us for a photo shoot, and Philip Norris has a lot to say about it!

Rating: 0/5 | 63485 views | 11 comments

Anna Nicole's Baby Daddy Is Gay!

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:04:59 -0500

This week Philip Norris reports on Paris Hilton's brother, Gary Coleman and the writer's strike.

Rating: 0/5 | 8479 views | 5 comments

Vote For Me 2008!

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:33:04 -0500

Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!

Rating: 0/5 | 8819 views | 9 comments

Apology To Heath Ledger Fans

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:59:57 -0500

Philip Norris discusses last week's news report about Heath Ledger's death and celebrity drinking and drug use.

Rating: 0/5 | 10088 views | 22 comments

Heath Ledger Is Dead

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:33:01 -0500

Heath Ledger is dead and Philip Norris is angry. Find out why, and what his rant has to do with soccer balls!

Rating: 0/5 | 6881 views | 24 comments

Britney Spears Found Jesus

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 18:52:14 -0500

After Britney Spears ditched out on yet another custody hearing, she went to church! Has Britney finally found The Jesus!

Rating: 0/5 | 9317 views | 4 comments

Jessica Alba's Preggers!

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 20:21:36 -0500

This week Philip Norris is appalled that Jessica Alba would destroy her body by getting pregnant.

Rating: 0/5 | 79306 views | 8 comments

Jamie Lynn Spears Knocked Up!

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 19:17:15 -0500

Jamie Lynn Spears has gotten herself all preggers! We do not need any more Spears children in this world!

Rating: 0/5 | 104923 views | 9 comments

Britney And Paris Are Lesbians

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 20:13:08 -0500

This week Britney, Paris and Jodie Foster get gay together, Scrooge McDuck is mistaken for Donald Trump and David Blaine is on drugs.

Rating: 0/5 | 60221 views | 7 comments

Paris Hilton's Easy-Nooj 2006

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 20:48:19 -0500

This week Britney Spears is knocked up, Tom Cruise is a Mommy, and Carson Daly is still a douche bag.

Rating: 0/5 | 33489 views | 9 comments

Britney Spears Has ADD

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 19:24:25 -0500

This week Britney has ADD, Lindsay Lohan's dad has a noonie, and the writers strike...gold!

Rating: 0/5 | 14505 views | 6 comments

Dog The Bounty Hunter Is A Honky

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 19:34:27 -0500

This week Philip Norris brings you the week’s most fabulously racist news.

Rating: 0/5 | 13468 views | 5 comments

Britney Spears Can't Hear You

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 19:35:03 -0500

This week Britney loses her kids, David Copperfield rapes somebody, and other important worldly events. Philip Norris has the latest!

Rating: 0/5 | 11595 views | 4 comments

Interview With Britney's Kids

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 20:12:47 -0500

This week Philip Norris interviews Britney Spears’ kids! Are they drunk?

Rating: 0/5 | 9988 views | 11 comments

OJ Drinks Britney Under The Table

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 19:44:36 -0500

This week Philip Norris talks OJ, Britney and all those other people you love to hate.

Rating: 0/5 | 6194 views | 3 comments

Paris Hilton Wants A Baby

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 18:19:59 -0500

This week Philip Norris lays the smack down on Paris, Pavarotti, and Jerry Lewis!

Rating: 5/5 | 14059 views | 16 comments

Britney Spears: Mother of the Year

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:40:54 -0500

This week Philip Norris gives you a round-up of the latest news, including a sad story about Britney Spears, who sucks at being a mom.

Rating: 4.5/5 | 12547 views | 13 comments

SMN: Jessica Alba is a Golden Girl

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 20:28:55 -0500

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

Rating: 2/5 | 11380 views | 18 comments

SMN: The Beckhams In America

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 10:04:25 -0500

Soccer Star David Beckham and his hot Spice Wife have settled down state side. Who better to give them a proper American greeting than Philip Norris?

Rating: 5/5 | 9012 views | 10 comments

Suck My News: America is #1

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 18:58:48 -0500

Philip Norris celebrates America’s independence by saluting all the reasons we totally kick ass.

Rating: 0/5 | 9420 views | 11 comments

Suck My News: The Return of Phillip Norris

All_Suck_My_News_Suck_My_News ( Liquid Generation) — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 20:12:27 -0500

We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.

Rating: 5/5 | 9657 views | 44 comments