News - Suck-My-News - Archived-News - 2005

New Year's Eve Sucks

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This year New Year’s Eve sucks, the donut man dies, New Orleans comes back to life, and your mom looks at porn.

34886 views | 0 comments

Merry Kwanzaka!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 22 Dec 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week your family celebrates a holiday, Elton John gets married, New Yorkers walk to work, and the inventor of the internets starts a blog.

34572 views | 0 comments

Santa Claus Is Dead

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week somebody kills Santa, Morgan Freeman stops racism, people search for Britney Spears on the internets and Kevin Federline drives a Ferrari. Not much going on.

47680 views | 0 comments

Jennifer Aniston Bares All

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 09 Dec 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week the world got a glimpse of Jennifer Aniston’s boobies, winter storms made everyone stay indoors and talk to their families, and Mel Gibson does the Holocaust.

83775 views | 0 comments

The Sad Split of Jessica and Nick

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week Jessica and Nick call it quits, President Bush gives a hilarious speech and Vince Vaughn is a drunk!

53366 views | 0 comments

Turkey, Stuffing, and Xbox

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, but even more important they celebrate the new Xbox 360. We’re there to tell you about it.

39644 views | 0 comments

Kanye West Is Gay?

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 18 Nov 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week Kanye West discusses his homophobia, Wal-Mart hires illegals, 50 Cent teaches us how to read, and Michael Jackson uses the women’s bathroom.

50080 views | 0 comments

Paris Is Starving For Nachos

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week Dubya’s poll numbers are in the toilet, Lindsay Lohan wants to get married, Paris’ boytoy crashes a Bentley, and more celeb debauchery.

64167 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: K-Fed Is Vanilla Ice

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 04 Nov 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week K-Fed’s rap song leaks on the internet, Leonardo DiCaprio breaks up with Gisele, and Mohammad Ali comes face to face with the Angel of Death.

51396 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Star Trek is Gay

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week a Star Trek cast member comes out of the closet, Stallone wants to do another Rambo, and there might be another crazy Jackson on the loose.

31720 views | 2 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Vince Vaughn Gets Lucky

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

This week Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston hook up, Bush and Bono have lunch together, Michael Jackson gets called for jury duty and other signs the world is a truly crunked-up place.

37249 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Chewbacca Is One of Us

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 14 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.

38605 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Create Alien Baby

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 07 Oct 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

41341 views | 1 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Tara Reid is Busted!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

49396 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Celebs Gone Wild!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

27872 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Fetus Spears is Born!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 16 Sep 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

18672 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Hurricanes Are Not Funny!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 02 Sep 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

11622 views | 1 comments

Suck My News Weekly: The Apocalypse Cometh

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Sat, 27 Aug 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

8957 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Jude Law's Tiny One

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

10518 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Lohan Smokes The Reefer!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 12 Aug 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

12645 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Jennifer Aniston Speaks!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Sat, 06 Aug 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

11431 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Celebrities Are Stupid

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

12123 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Colin Ferrell's Sexy Tape!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

28270 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Brat Pitt Almost Dies

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

10654 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Angelina Eats Adopted Baby!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

17189 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Lindsay Lohan Passes Out

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 01 Jul 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

11445 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: TomKat Plans Alien Child

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 24 Jun 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

2438 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: TomKat Engaged At Last

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 17 Jun 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

2203 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Russell the Phone Phreak

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

2729 views | 1 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Lindsay Lohan's Dead - Almost!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 03 Jun 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

29106 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Tom Cruise Goes Mental

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 27 May 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

3241 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Celebrities Do Stupid Stuff

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 20 May 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

4888 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Bennifer's Coke-Sniffing Baby

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 13 May 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

4579 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Tom Gives Katie Herpes

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 06 May 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

4311 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: THE ATTACK OF BRITNEYS FETUS!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 15 Apr 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

3130 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: NEW POPE, VIRGIN MARY, & AN IDOL!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Mon, 04 Apr 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

2580 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Britney's Big Pregnant Boobs

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 01 Apr 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

19096 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Whitney the Crack Smoker

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

4120 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Your Mom Uses Steroids

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 18 Mar 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

3294 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Save Lindsay Lohan's Boobs!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 04 Mar 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

17448 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Paris is Burning

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 25 Feb 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

3393 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Alanis Betrays Canada

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 18 Feb 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

2519 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: State of Confussion Address

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 04 Feb 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

2083 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Awkward Jesus Returns

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Sat, 29 Jan 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

3319 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Four More Years of Baby Bush

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Sat, 22 Jan 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

2687 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Jen and Brad Are So Over!

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 14 Jan 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

2660 views | 0 comments

Suck My News Weekly: Ashlee Simpson Sucks Donkey

2005_Archived-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 07 Jan 2005 00:00:00 GMT

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

4494 views | 0 comments