News - Suck-My-News - All-Suck-My-News

American Idol Hates Gays

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 21 May 2009 18:38:12 GMT

Philip Norris explains why Adam Lambert lost American Idol and why Americans hate the gays. Good Times!

16066 views | 3 comments

Lindsay Lohan's A Lesbo!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 17:06:09 GMT

Philip Norris discusses what kind of lesbian Lindsay Lohan will be.

34359 views | 8 comments

Megan Fox Is Foxy

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:24:11 GMT

She's Brian Austin Green's girlfriend, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't respect her sexiest! Philip Norris has more...

21480 views | 6 comments

Holiday Savings Tips

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 19:23:33 GMT

Philip Norris walks you through his five step plan on how to save on the Holidays during the recession. Look out Martha Stewart!

12948 views | 5 comments

Obama or McCain?

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 19:57:25 GMT

This week Philip Norris gives you the lowdown on who to vote for in the upcoming election.

18431 views | 7 comments

Miley Cyrus In Playboy?

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:07:56 GMT

This week Philip Norris comments on Hugh Hefners comment about Miley Cyrus in Playboy, and how people are into some weird sex crap.

149870 views | 14 comments

I Can't Afford Gas

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 19:35:09 GMT

Philip Norris can't afford gas, and so can't you. It's okay, he has a couple solutions.

14136 views | 8 comments

Batman Is Rich!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:38:10 GMT

You think Batman was rich before, wait until he rakes in all of this box office money!

9182 views | 1 comments

I Got An iPhone!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:42:57 GMT

Philip Norris gets an iPhone! Unfortunately he can't activate it, so he gives some solutions on what to do with it.

7289 views | 3 comments

Jamie Lynn Spears Is A Mom

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:01:11 GMT

Jamie Lynn Spears has had her illegitimate child. Congrats Jamie Lynn, you are officially more white trash than your sister!

8344 views | 4 comments

Amy Winehouse Is Racist

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:45:44 GMT

This week Philip Norris talks about how Amy Winehouse hates everyone that's not white. What color is she anyway?

7285 views | 3 comments

American Idol Is Finally Over!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 23 May 2008 18:14:28 GMT

American Idol is finally over. Now I can get beck to my normal life of listening to non-crappy music.

4481 views | 2 comments

Britney Spears Is Pregnant!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 16 May 2008 19:57:15 GMT

Philip Norris discusses the fact the Britney Spears might be pregnant and who the father could be.

10332 views | 4 comments

American Idol Is Fake!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 01 May 2008 17:55:07 GMT

Paula Abdul screwed up and now everybody knows that American Idol is fake!

7993 views | 7 comments

Ashlee Simpson Preps For Divorce

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:45:03 GMT

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz got engaged! Now that they got that out of the way... time for the divorce!

8230 views | 4 comments

Perez Hilton Should Die

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:26:07 GMT

Like you, Philip Norris believes that Perez Hilton is an idiot.

6741 views | 9 comments

Richie Sambora Is Drunk

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:24:07 GMT

This week your pal Philip Norris rants about how big of an idiot Richie Sambora is for driving drunk with his 10-year-old daughter in the car.

3977 views | 1 comments

Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape?

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:22:18 GMT

Philip Norris discusses the art of the celebrity sex tape.

142418 views | 10 comments

Eliot Spitzer Hearts Whores

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:16:45 GMT

Eliot Spitzer will go down in history as one of the biggest idiots in politics... ever! And he loves whores.

7624 views | 5 comments

Oscars Didn't Miss Jared Leto

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 12:48:31 GMT

This week Philip Norris explains why you have really bad taste in movies. BTW Jared Leto is a tool.

7482 views | 4 comments

Lindsay Lohan's Nude Photos Will Kill You

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 11:53:09 GMT

Lindsay Lohan got all nude on us for a photo shoot, and Philip Norris has a lot to say about it!

74090 views | 11 comments

Anna Nicole's Baby Daddy Is Gay!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 20:04:59 GMT

This week Philip Norris reports on Paris Hilton's brother, Gary Coleman and the writer's strike.

10140 views | 5 comments

Vote For Me 2008!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:33:04 GMT

Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!

11979 views | 10 comments

Apology To Heath Ledger Fans

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 11:59:57 GMT

Philip Norris discusses last week's news report about Heath Ledger's death and celebrity drinking and drug use.

11586 views | 19 comments

Heath Ledger Is Dead

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:33:01 GMT

Heath Ledger is dead and Philip Norris is angry. Find out why, and what his rant has to do with soccer balls!

8193 views | 25 comments

Britney Spears Found Jesus

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 18:52:14 GMT

After Britney Spears ditched out on yet another custody hearing, she went to church! Has Britney finally found The Jesus!

11345 views | 5 comments

Jessica Alba's Preggers!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 20:21:36 GMT

This week Philip Norris is appalled that Jessica Alba would destroy her body by getting pregnant.

80853 views | 8 comments

Jamie Lynn Spears Knocked Up!

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 19:17:15 GMT

Jamie Lynn Spears has gotten herself all preggers! We do not need any more Spears children in this world!

106281 views | 9 comments

Britney And Paris Are Lesbians

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 20:13:08 GMT

This week Britney, Paris and Jodie Foster get gay together, Scrooge McDuck is mistaken for Donald Trump and David Blaine is on drugs.

72363 views | 7 comments

Paris Hilton's Easy-Nooj 2006

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 20:48:19 GMT

This week Britney Spears is knocked up, Tom Cruise is a Mommy, and Carson Daly is still a douche bag.

34566 views | 9 comments

Britney Spears Has ADD

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 19:24:25 GMT

This week Britney has ADD, Lindsay Lohan's dad has a noonie, and the writers strike...gold!

15436 views | 6 comments

Dog The Bounty Hunter Is A Honky

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 19:34:27 GMT

This week Philip Norris brings you the week’s most fabulously racist news.

14406 views | 5 comments

Britney Spears Can't Hear You

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 19:35:03 GMT

This week Britney loses her kids, David Copperfield rapes somebody, and other important worldly events. Philip Norris has the latest!

12177 views | 4 comments

Interview With Britney's Kids

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 20:12:47 GMT

This week Philip Norris interviews Britney Spears’ kids! Are they drunk?

10599 views | 11 comments

OJ Drinks Britney Under The Table

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 19:44:36 GMT

This week Philip Norris talks OJ, Britney and all those other people you love to hate.

6797 views | 4 comments

Paris Hilton Wants A Baby

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 18:19:59 GMT

This week Philip Norris lays the smack down on Paris, Pavarotti, and Jerry Lewis!

14651 views | 16 comments

Britney Spears: Mother of the Year

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:40:54 GMT

This week Philip Norris gives you a round-up of the latest news, including a sad story about Britney Spears, who sucks at being a mom.

13082 views | 13 comments

SMN: Jessica Alba is a Golden Girl

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 20:28:55 GMT

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

11922 views | 18 comments

SMN: The Beckhams In America

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 10:04:25 GMT

Soccer Star David Beckham and his hot Spice Wife have settled down state side. Who better to give them a proper American greeting than Philip Norris?

9518 views | 10 comments

Suck My News: America is #1

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 18:58:48 GMT

Philip Norris celebrates America’s independence by saluting all the reasons we totally kick ass.

10508 views | 11 comments

Suck My News: The Return of Phillip Norris

All-Suck-My-News_Suck-My-News (Liquid Generation) — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 20:12:27 GMT

We did it. We caved in to your demands. Philip Norris has returned to the LG news desk and he has a year’s worth of stories to unleash his cranky fury on.

10619 views | 44 comments