Rebecca Gayheart and her boyfriend, Dr. McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy, were o vacation on a boat when she felt the need to inspect his all-beef thermometer. And a little boy was only 5 feet away.

And her "precious" is a nice heaping pile of cocaine.

It's the 2001 Britney Spears all over again in 2K9. We feel blessed.

Here's Lindsay Lohan on the set of her new movie Machete. How she's working again we have no idea. All we know is that she sucks at using spray tan.

The fact that you can write a check on her butt doesn't mean you don't fantasize about her reject you.

We have no idea why she's famous other than the fact that when you look at her it's like you're seeing an angel. An angel with a hot ass and really nice boobs.

I won't let myself fall asleep these days because I'm worried I'll have nightmares about this"

It's not fat, it's awesome.

Her hips will check you and throw you to the ground.

We kid about Lohan all the time, but never about her sideboob. We always welcome it.

Dear Eliza, your ribs are showing. They remind us of the McDonald's McRib sandwich. Now we're hungry. Bye!

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

It always happens a couple times a year: for a week straight Tara Reid makes the paparazzi take photos of her in a bikini, and for a week straight we laugh at her stomach.

Somebody please warn Madonna that veins eventually explode after taking too many steroids. And her penis will shrink.

...or she wants to lick Quentin Tarantino's face. Which is it?

She has to be around 55-years-old, but Jennifer Connelly is still very much a part of our imagination as we daydream about doing it with movie stars.

I always knew she had one.

Is that hair or just part of the bikini we're looking at? Confused.

She's either jumpin' or bangin'. Wait -- she's doing both!

But really, who cares? Older chicks are awesome and if you don't realize that you're probably and idiot anyway.