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Helga Mohammed

Paris Is Starving For Nachos

By: Helga Mohammed el-Salami
Nov 11 2005

This week Dubya’s poll numbers are in the toilet, Lindsay Lohan wants to get married, Paris’ boytoy crashes a Bentley, and more celeb debauchery.


 
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Paris Is Starving For Nachos

By: LG Staff
Date: Nov 11 2005

This week Dubya’s poll numbers are in the toilet, Lindsay Lohan wants to get married, Paris’ boytoy crashes a Bentley, and more celeb debauchery.




 
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Internet Is For Porn

By: LG Staff
Date: Jan 6 2006

World of Warcraft has produced more funnies this year than any other game around. Nerds are hilarious!




 
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Paris Works for the People

By: LG Staff
Date: Dec 29 2008

Paris kept her promises and immediately opened a shelter for women when she was released from jail. Here you can see her passing out soup to the needy. What a heart of gold!




 
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Paris is Fila ing Good

By: LG Staff
Date: Jan 15 2008

Paris Hilton is modeling for Fila, their first major endorsement since Grant Hill in 1995. She looks as confused as us.




 
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Paris is an Alien

By: LG Staff
Date: Jan 19 2007

Paris Hilton donned this ensemble willingly. Shudder.




 
 
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Paris is Free

By: LG Staff
Date: Jun 27 2007

Now that she's been released from prison, Paris is on her way to annoy the hell out of he neighbors in the Hollywood Hills.




 
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Paris is High

By: LG Staff
Date: Jan 30 2007

More from the Paris Exposed files! It's official: she's totally baked!




 
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Paris is Wasted

By: LG Staff
Date: Feb 2 2007

Here's a surprise: Paris Hilton likes to get trashed with friends. And then she likes to take pictures of herself.




 
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Paris is STILL Driving

By: LG Staff
Date: May 9 2007

The paps were hot on Paris Hilton's heels yesterday as she drove HERSELF to a lawyer meeting, after previously getting rides from mom Kathy. Paris, you're bad!




 
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Paris is Gross

By: LG Staff
Date: Jan 25 2007

…And here's a diagrammed image to prove it!




 
 
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Paris is a 7th Grader

By: LG Staff
Date: Jun 26 2007

Paris drew a picture for the good folks at TMZ and they almost threw it out because they thought it was from a retarded fan. But then they noticed her spot-on signature, which she no doubt practiced signing for years all over her Trapper Keeper.




 
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Paris is Screwed HA HA

By: LG Staff
Date: Jun 8 2007

Even a carton bully laughs at you, Paris.




 
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Paris Made a Collage for Her Dad

By: LG Staff
Date: May 22 2007

She's like a 13-year-old girl who cuts out words and pictures from tampon ads in women's magazines to express her emotions. God she's stupid.




 
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Breakfast is for Obama

By: LG Staff
Date: Mar 17 2008

He woke up one day and had a vision, a dream, "Yes We Can"...design a logo for my campaign that looks just like my breakfast.




 
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Sleep is For Babies

By: LG Staff
Date: Jul 10 2007

Gamers play all night!




 
 
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Paris Hiltons Body Is Sick

By: LG Staff
Date: Mar 11 2009

Love or hate her, you all want to bang her.




 
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Film School Is For Jerks

By: LG Staff
Date: May 19 2004

College is when you learn dumb movie trivia and how to drink until you vomit. Both are equally important.




 
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Suck My News Weekly Paris is Burning

By: LG Staff
Date: Feb 25 2005

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.




 
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Paris is Getting Her Wonky Eye Fixed

By: LG Staff
Date: Jan 23 2007

I think she should just slap an eyepatch on that and get herself some pirate street-cred.




 
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Celebrity High Halloween Is For Fatties

By: LG Staff
Date: Nov 1 2007

A new LG Comic! Halloween is just an excuse for fat girls to eat themselves into a coma…




 
 
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Kim Zolciak Is Gay For Boobs

By: LG Staff
Date: Sep 1 2009

This Real Housewife of Atlanta Super MILF is so about gay rights she's showing her boobs. Which makes sense! Boobs = GAY IS AWESOME, or something.




 
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Jayde Nicole Is Hot for a Douchebag

By: LG Staff
Date: Oct 8 2009

Sure she is hot. But she also dates Brody Jenner. That's why she's a douchebag.




 
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Tara Reids Stomach Is Hungry for Dog

By: LG Staff
Date: Apr 23 2009

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.




 
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Twilight For Guys

By: LG Staff
Date: Jul 14 2010

This twilight is better than the original.




 
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School Is Punishment for Emo Kids

By: LG Staff
Date: Jun 9 2006

God hates Emo kids, so he invented a place where they can be made fun of.