Winona Ryder Is Less Important Than 9/11 (?!)

In a bit of awesome PR spin, Winona Ryder gives her take on the whole shoplifting thing in Vogue:

"The attention was what was embarrassing," she tells Vogue. "It was the December after Sept. 11. … So much attention was being paid to me, when we had just been attacked, and there was all this really important news going on."

Wait a minute... what?  Winona Ryder's shoplifting is somehow less important than 9/11?!  How can this be?  I mean, SO many people were affected by Winona's attempted theft.  It has to be more at least the number of people affected by the events of September 11th.  Right?  (Yes, I'm right.)

However, the best part of her argument, apart from just the hilarious linking of the two stories, is the assumption that because one news event is going on, all our attention must be focused on it.  Well, Winona, I can follow two, maybe even three news stories at once!  Crazy, no?  Just because your story is less important than 9/11, that does not mean people shouldn't follow it as well.  Also, your shoplifting probably provided a diversion from the national tragedy.  So, in a way, the timing of your botched crime couldn't have been better for America!

If the war continues to go bad, maybe Winona will shoplift again and we can be blissfully distracted.  That would be very patriotic of her.