Zach Braff’s Top 5 Douche Moments

Zach Braff’s performance ion SNL last week reminded us all of what we already know; Zack Braff is a major douche.  Let’s remind ourselves of just how major a douche he is with ZACH BRAFF’S TOP 5 DOUCHE MOMENTS!

5.  SNL Prom Sketch – Braff’s attempt to mock himself comes across as one of the most contrived things he’s ever done.  Presumably we’re supposed to step away from this thinking that Braff isn’t such a bad guy, able to poke fun at his own emo-hipster self image.  But in reality it’s just the douche patting himself on the back in the pussiest way possible.  He’s bringing to light all the love and accolades heaped upon his film while asking us not to get upset because after all “it’s only a sketch”.  (It should be noted, though, that everyone else in this sketch is amazing.  Please Lorne Michaels… give me a Scooch and Mando movie.)

4.  Chicken Little Says “Oh Snap” – Braff’s nasaly man-child voice is annoying enough when it’s coming out of his quaffed melon.  It’s even more annoying when it’s coming out of a gender confused farm fowl bobble head.  But when the he-chicken is spouting warmed over, urban slang that Disney picked up on eight years to late, that’s when it becomes unbearable.

3.  Presenting The Emmy With Hugh Laurie – This one just speaks to the intangibility of Braff’s docuhiness.  Honestly I’d probably love this shtick coming out of Jack Black, Will Arnett or David Cross but Braff just takes it to douche town.

2.  Any Interview He Gave About Garden State – It’s rare to see a person this impressed with themselves outside of Greek Mythology and Liberal Talk Radio.  Braff was in love with every decision he made about his clunk freshman directing effort.  From the heavy handed visuals to the mix-tape soundtrack.

1.  MySpace Artist on Artist – This video could probably make a whole separate list of docuehy moments but we’ll just count it as one big one.  Braff is incredibly patronizing to interviewer Kevin Smith from right from the get go, correcting him when he calls Scrubs a “hit” (being part of a “hit” show” would squander his precious indie sensibility.)  Braff then goes onto show a startling lack of respect or knowledge for Smith’s work.  He refers Smith’s signature creation as “the Clerks character”.  IT’S SILENT BOB!  And Braff would know that if he really considered Smith to be the voice of his generation that he calls him in his lip service.  But the moment that truly places the douche crown upon Braff’s head comes at the very end when he nearly gags hearing that Smith will accept anyone as his MySpace friend.  Braff should realize that MySpace is where 95% of his audience lives but the idea that just anybody could get into Braff’s precious little circle of coolness nearly kills him.  To see the douche video supreme go here.