Why Paris Losing Her Inheritance IS a Big Deal

Sex tapes, partying all the time, going to jail -- eventually, bad behavior catches up to you.  Paris Hilton learned that the hard way, because recently her grandfather took away her giant $59 inheritance.  That's not a big deal though, right?  I mean, she's probably got millions upon millions in the bank from commercials, sex tape royalties, and her pay checks from that stupid reality show.  Isn't this just a drop in the bucket?

No.

You see, from a banking perspective, it's not a super crisis - she can suffer in a mansion with one less giant gold jacuzzi.  However, her main problem is that her occupation is "celebrity heiress."  Lord knows she's not a good singer or actress -- her purpose in life is to be an heir: to collect wealth when her family croaks.  It is perhaps the simplest job in the universe, and now she can't even do that right.

So now she must ask herself some questions: "What exactly is my purpose on this earth?"  "What am I even qualified to do?"  "Do I have any skills?"  I mean, she can't even stay out of jail, for crying out loud.  Yeah, she can do without more money, but she can't do without the inheritance.  It's what makes Paris Paris.  Without it, she's just a girl who's famous for no reason, who's almost certainly going through an existential crisis of mass proportions.  Maybe she'll follow in the footsteps of her grandfather and become a philanthropist, lol.