Paul Haggis Makes Movies For Babies

If I was teaching a class called “Symbolism For Babies” my curriculum would only consist of Paul Haggis movies.  Literally, if I needed to explain what symbolism was to an infant, someone who has yet to fully figure out what their hands and feet were supposed to do, I’d show them a Paul Haggis movie and say “this is symbolism”.  Then that same infant would probably tell me I was insulting them.  Let me show you why…

In his new movie In the Valley of Elah Tommy Lee Jones plays a former Military Crime Scenes investigator who is now investigating the disappearance of his son.  So as he’s driving to the military base where his son disappeared he sees a public school where the janitor is accidentally hanging the flag upside down.  This disturbs Tommy Lee Jones so much that he pulls his car over, approaches the janitor and the following scene occurs:

Tommy Lee Jones:  You know what it means when someone hangs a flag upside down don’t you?

Janitor:  Gee know, why don’t you explain?

Tommy Lee Jones:  It’s a distress call.  It means their country is in some serious trouble.  Their screwed six ways to last Sunday and aint nobody who can help out a’ this pickle.

Janitor:  Okay, so you’re saying that someone who hangs a flag upside down thinks the country is in trouble?

Tommy Lee Jones:  Exactly!  But I would never do that cause I’m a former military guy and I love this country and nothing that happens over the course of this movie will change my mind!

And can you guess what happens at the end of the movie.  That’s right babies, Tommy Lee Jones learns that America is in trouble so he HANGS A FLAG UPSIDE DOWN!  Do you understand why this is symbolism for babies?  He not only picks the most trite possible image as his symbol but then he wedges it into his script with a freaking sledge hammer (He pulls over to the side of the road, the scene has nothing to do with the rest of the movie!) And then Paul Haggis flat out tells you what the symbol meas.  “Upside down flag = country in trouble.  Goo goo, gag a!)  Ughhh… I hate Paul Haggis!  His movies feel like direct insults.