Paris Hilton Banned from Liquid Generation

Of course I'm only kidding. We would never do such a thing because A) She's the lifeblood of Liquid Generation and B) We always need a reason to search for naked pictures of her on the internet. But The Associated Press Entertainment Editor, whose job I guess is to make his readers really really angry, just barred Paris Hilton stories from The AP.

The wire service's entertainment editor Jesse Washington sent a memo to staffers on Feb. 13 that said, barring any major events, the AP would not run any mention of Paris Hilton on the wire, according to the memo, which was obtained by the New York Observer.

Of course, if you think about everything that's happened in the last month -- The Death of Anna Nicole Smith, The Britney Spears Crazy Parade, and Jennifer Hudson's horrible dress at The Oscars -- do we really have the time to read about Paris Hilton's latest hijinks at Hyde or the fact that she might be going to jail?

Still, this The AP is censoring it's reporters. Paris Hilton is always news. Despite being overshadowed by far crazy and stupider celebrities, she is still important to Americans -- why, she's America's Princess. We love her. We watch her. We see her naked any chance we get. We have the right -- we've earned the right at following her career all these years -- to know what she's doing every second of the day. Sure, lesser reporters and bloggers will still cover her, but something makes us sleep better at night knowing there are professional journalists who wear ties to work covering one of the most important people in my life, America's life.