Movies: What Not To See This Weekend

This weekend I'm not going to the movies.  I have no reason to!  Here are the new movies that are coming out, and my corresponding reasons for not shelling out $11 to see them:

Apocalypto - I have nothing against the violence, and I'm sure it's well-filmed.  But the last thing I want to do is give Mel Gibson a box office Channukka present he doesn't deserve.  But I'll make him a deal: if Mel Gibson stops hating my people, I'll go see his movies. 

Blood Diamond - Leonardo DiCaprio's accent is hilarious!  What?  It's not a comedy?  ...  Uh-oh.

The Holiday - You know what helped kill my buzz for the Tenacious D movie?  Ads with Jack Black romping around in this cookie cutter chick flick.  There ain't no rocket sauce in this movie, pals.  Just 100% Grade-A Horses**t!

Inland Empire - I'm just not in the mood for something boring and unintelligible this weekend.

Unaccompanied Minors - Actually, Doc Manhattan is gonna drag me to this.  I'm gonna enjoy watching two of my favorite comedians -- Lewis Black and Rob Corddry -- get outwitted by a bunch of kid stereotypes.  Watch out, Lewis!  When the nerd, the skateboarder, and the surprisingly tough girl team up, they're gonna prank you like nobody's business!

My Recommendation: The Tick on DVD.  That show was awesome.