Heidi Montag's Fake Non-Bouncy Fun Bags

I can't usually watch The Hills without first stabbing myself in the ears with an ice pick. Deafness is required if one's to make it through an entire episode. Besides The Sons of Hollywood and 24/7 (is that still on?), The Hills ranks right up there with one of the most useless shows in the universe. Well, not entirely useless. If you turn the sound off on your TV all the way down to zero you can make yourself some Silent Porn. You can always count on the actors reality stars to walk around in their bikinis for a few minutes each show. And now one of them, Heidi Montag -- a.k.a The Slutty Bitch -- has a new pair of breasts for you to gawk at. First, behold her old boobs.

Now for the new breasts!

What do you think? Personally, I think fake breasts are stupid. 99% of the time they look like a mess. Watch The Howard Stern show a couple times and you'll get what I'm saying. There are no standards anymore when it comes to breast fakery, especially with celebrities (Awfulplasticsurgery.com for more evidence).  Plastic Surgeons should feel ashamed at ruining our breasts!  Protest anyone?

(source: US Weekly)