Daytime's Craziest Drama: Anna Nicole Smith's Actual Life

A day after she buried her son, who died of drug overdose or mysterious causes, Anna was told she has to move out of her Bahamas residence.  In addition, two men in her life are battling over who's the father of her newborn baby.  And that all happened in, like, a month.  What will happen in the upcoming weeks?  Here's my prediction:

* We'll find out that the father is actually neither of the two men, so Anna will go on a cross-country journey to find the true father.

* Travelling through Texas with her new baby, who has developed an abnormal cough, Anna has a run-in with a punk motorcycle gang.

* After getting off to a rough start, Anna is initiated into the gang.  The gang decides to help her hunt down the father.

* In Florida, Anna and the gang accidentally bust a drug smuggling ring.  She's given an award by Jeb Bush, who she then sleeps with.

* It turns out her baby's cough is a rare disease, which is only curable in a desolate African village.

* Anna barely escapes to Africa, after having a run-in with a bear (they also eventually become friends).

* In Africa, a famous shaman medicine man stops her baby's cough, but just as that happens... they are surrounded by terrorists, who take them prisoner!

* President Bush will not negotiate with the terrorists for the return of Anna Nicole Smith. 

Is this the end of Anna and her baby?  Will she ever find the real father?  And who is... The Masked Shadow?!  Make sure you watch the next season of A Bimbo's Adventures!