B-RAT BLOGS

Good news!  LG welcomes a new celebrity blogger to the mix today.  Hollywood's greatest director Brett Ratner! 

Hey fags.  Brett Ratner here, or as my friends like to call me B-Rat.  And guess what hombre, since you’re reading my blog that makes us amigos so you can call me B-Rat too.  Cha-ching!  You just made a million dollars in Brett Rattner friendship points, and those points are more valuable than gold cause in Hollywood I’m gold.  I poop out gold is what I’m saying.  Rush Hour 3, X-Men 3 the movies I made before X-Men 3.  What, you think I keep track of the movies I make?  NOPE!  I forget em’ entirely after three years.  In this business if you want to stay fresh you have to stay in the now.  Remembering things you did in the past is like poison.  I needed a PA to keep reminding me we were calling the movie Rush Hour 3.  I was like “3?” and she was like “yeah this is the third one” and I was like “killer, that means there are two more of these awesome movies out there.”  It blew my mind, then I had that bitch fired.  No one talks back to B-Rat.  And no one calls him B-Rat either.  I swear to God if you ever call me that I will have you fired.  I know I’m probably not your boss but I hold a lot of sway in this town and every other town.  If I want you fired from your job at Amco, then my friend you will never pump air into a another tire again.

So anyway, yeah, I’m gonna be blogging on Liquid Generation every now and then, sharing my thoughts and letting you know what’s going on with my career and the rest of Hollywood.  (Like anything else is going on in Hollywood besides my career.  HA HA HA HA HA!  You know I’m right.)  I’ll let you know what I think of celebrity gossip and other stuff like that.  And I’ll even let you in on little anecdotes from my own life.  Like today some guys were supposed to come to my mansion to install a new Coke Stone and they were totally late.  DAMN IT!  What the hell am I supposed to do coke off now! My old coke stone?  NO!  it’s too scratched up.  To much coke falls into the slits I created with the razor blade I use to cut coke.  But anyway I’ll let you know all about that and other adventures.  

Till later dudes you can call me B-Rat.  (Don’t call me B-Rat.)