Brad and Angelina Get Married In Africa -- WHAT A SURPRISE!

The following is a news article about the big Brad and Angelina wedding announcement.  I added a few notes.

-Roadblock.

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"Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are planning a fairytale Christmas wedding in South Africa."  WHAT A BIG SURPRISE!!

"The Hollywood couple will tie the knot in a small village outside Johannesburg, according to reports in the US."  A SMALL AFRICAN VILLAGE?  THOSE TWO?  WHODATHUNKIT?

"An insider said: 'They are treating their marriage like a spiritual affirmation and don't need big Hollywood glitz like Tom Cruise had in Italy.'"  BRAD AND ANGELINA WANTING TO BE 'DIFFERENT' FROM 'SUPERFICIAL' HOLLYWOOD?  NO S***!

"The pal adds: 'They are so much in love.'"  THEY'RE SO IN LOVE, THEY HAD SEX AND BABIES WITH EACH OTHER!!!

"It comes after Jolie and Winfrey have grown close after the TV host was impressed by Jolie's humanitarian efforts."  OPRAH AND JOLIE, TWO FEMALE CELEBRITIES WHO THINK OF THEMSELVES AS GREAT HUMANITARIANS, HAVE BECOME FRIENDS?!  IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!

"Jolie was previously married to actors Jonny Lee Miller and Billy Bob Thornton."  ANGELINA AND BILLY BOB THORNTON WERE MARRIED?????!!!!?!?!?   WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN????????????????????