Beastiality: The Movie

You didn't want it.  You didn't ask for it.  Yet, here it is anyway!  It's a serious documentary about beastiality - i.e. having sex with animals.  Coming to Sundance this year is a film called Zoo, a "strangely beautiful film" with "elegiac visual re-creations intended to conjure up the mood and spirit of situations."  Sounds artsy!

Likely highlights will include:

+ Soulful interview with Mr. X, a man whose face is blurred out, describing the beauty inherant in sticking his thing into a horse's butt.

+ Softly lit recreations of Mr. X putting his thing into a horse's butt.

+ Memorable moment: the horse smiling.

+ Emotional scenes, like when a woman - Ms. Annonymous - pours slop all over her body, and her trained pig refuses to lick it off.

+ The reconciliation scene with the pig, where the pig "gets down to business."  The song "Taking Care of Business" is played -- it's a funny scene!

+ Revealing interview with the pig.  Turns out the pig is married.  Drama ensues.

...uh, I think I'll miss this one, thanks.