A Eulogy For Imus In The Morning

Dearly beloved, we gather here today to pay our respects to Imus In The Morning, suddenly stricken down after twenty-five years on the radio, and eleven years on MSNBC.

I've never actually heard an episode of Don Imus' show.  No one I know has ever heard of him.  I certainly have never watched him on MSNBC, but then again, I never watch MSNBC, so there you go.

The first time I heard of Don Imus was in the Howard Stern bio pic Private Parts, where he's briefly mentioned once or twice.  That was ten years ago. 

The next time I heard anything about him was ten years later, when everyone was mad at him for saying something racist.  Then he lost his TV and radio shows, which is what we're gathering together to mourn.

I also knew that he wore a cowboy hat.  I'm not sure how I knew that, but I did.

 
Seriously, I don't think one person I told this story to actually knew who Don Imus was, and my friends do nothing but absorb and talk about pop culture.  Apparently his show has millions of listeners.  You could have fooled me.

Anyway, Imus In The Morning will be truly missed.  By who, I cannot say.  I really can't, because no one I know has heard of him.  But I'm sure his family was listening, and at this moment, we all feel their pain.  Now they'll have to listen to Opie and Anthony, or perhaps they'll buy iPods so they don't have to listen to awful morning shock jocks.  They could listen to music, which is infinitely better.

Now everybody grab a shovel, so we can bury this thing and watch the news.  Maybe another "comedian" will say something racist, which we'll talk about non-stop for an entire week.

Rest in Peace.