2007 Is Going To Be A Very Awesome Year

Note: This post originally appeared in our Liquid Generation Newsletter, which you should be getting every week because it's really, really funny. And it tells you about all the new content on our website. And it's just usually really really fun. You can sign up for it be registering right here.

Friends & Lovers, it’s Slippy Jenkins.

It’s time for a smooch-smoochy love fest here. Gather around, kick off your shoes. Get into some sexy underwear and let’s lay by the fire. I want to tell you how much I frickin’ love you guys.

As a matter of fact, I’m speaking on behalf of everybody here at Liquid Generation. This year has been great, and I’m not just saying that because LG Overlord Tyrese is right now holding a gun to my head. We sincerely want to thank you for making sweet internet-love to Liquid Generation in 2006.

The year has been insane. We moved from Chicago to Los Angeles. The company grew from seven people to a gazillion (and I’ve learned every single one of their names). There have been several botched plastic surgeries among our staff. We redesigned our whole website, not once but twice, and we’ve introduced many new animations, games and videos. And we’ve done this all to make sure you have something to do at work (and because we get paid for acting like complete asses).

I thought I’d share with you from stats, not from the year, but just what’s on my office computer. The stats comprise of scripts, videos, pictures, and documents. Mainly just scripts of things we’ve written for LG. It’s kind of a neat snapshot of sorts. What does it mean? I have no idea…but it does give you a clue as to what we’re obsessed with over here at LG.

•    932 references to Boobs
•    307 references to Food (I really need to lose some weight this year)
•    287 references to Britney Spears
•    221 references to Paris Hilton
•    194 references to Farting
•    187 references to Tom Cruise
•    162 references to Lindsay Lohan
•    69 references to Tara Reid, dude!
•    58 references to Fatass
•    41 references to cottage cheese.
•    40 references to anorexia
•    30 references to Robots (I like robots).
•    25 references to Poopie
•    2 references to chowder lips (there must be more)

Wow. I don’t know whether this list is disturbing or just hilarious. But I can’t take all the blame. The above celebutards have given us too much to poke fun at this year. We can only hope a new crop of famous morons pops up and gives us something to laugh at in 2007.

Love,

Slippy Jenkins