The 49th GRAMMY® Awards take place on Sunday and I am kinda excited to see the debacle this year. There are two schools of thought when it comes to the “music industry’s biggest night.”
The first being that it is a pointless waste of time – the so bad it’s bad. And the second being it’s a giddy diversion of pop glitz that you can’t help but watch, like a bloody highway car crash – the it’s so bad it’s good. Phil the Intern thinks along the lines of the former, and I am definitely a believer in the latter. So we decided we would find as many YouTube clips as we could and share our thoughts on them. If you could really care less about what we have to say you can scroll to the bottom for a list of links to the various performances. Let the fun begin!
Every year there’s some big “reunion performance” with this year’s being The Police, so look for some kind of “Roxanne/Every Breath You Take/Don’t Stand So Close To Me” medley, even though Sting just did “Roxanne” with Sean Paul a couple of years ago. Maybe next year we’ll get The Smiths? Don’t hold your breath.
This year Ludicris, Mary J. Blige, and Earth, Wind, and Fire are performing together; the now staple “across the ages supergroup medley” that the GRAMMY’S love so much. Sometimes it works like when Elton John and Eminem did a duet, and sometimes it is just inexplicable:
The 49th GRAMMY® Awards take place on Sunday and I am kinda excited to see the debacle this year. There are two schools of thought when it comes to the “music industry’s biggest night.”
The first being that it is a pointless waste of time – the so bad it’s bad. And the second being it’s a giddy diversion of pop glitz that you can’t help but watch, like a bloody highway car crash – the it’s so bad it’s good. Phil the Intern thinks along the lines of the former, and I am definitely a believer in the latter. So we decided we would find as many YouTube clips as we could and share our thoughts on them. If you could really care less about what we have to say you can scroll to the bottom for a list of links to the various performances. Let the fun begin!
Every year there’s some big “reunion performance” with this year’s being The Police, so look for some kind of “Roxanne/Every Breath You Take/Don’t Stand So Close To Me” medley, even though Sting just did “Roxanne” with Sean Paul a couple of years ago. Maybe next year we’ll get The Smiths? Don’t hold your breath.
This year Ludicris, Mary J. Blige, and Earth, Wind, and Fire are performing together; the now staple “across the ages supergroup medley” that the GRAMMY’S love so much. Sometimes it works like when Elton John and Eminem did a duet, and sometimes it is just inexplicable:
There will also be some kind of tribute to James Brown like the Clash tribute in 2003 featuring Bruce, Elvis Costello, Dave Grohl, Steven Van Zant and No Doubt. Our guess, they’ll probably get George Clinton, Diddy, Norah Jones, James Blunt, The Killers and Scott Weiland (just because he’s got all the good drugs) to perform “Sex Machine.” 
In the past there have been several performances where the artist seems a bit “altered,” and our bet is on Gnarls Barkley this year. Of course no one will ever beat Bob Dylan’s slurred rendition of “Masters of War” in 1991. Jack Nicholson introduces him by calling him a “riot.” They were so partying backstage.
There are always a couple of performances from artists who are “cool” and this year we have Justin Timberlake and, well, Timberlake. In the past we have seen The White Stripes, Coldplay, Franz Ferdinand, Smashing Pumpkins, and Outkast. That’s about as indie as it gets at the GRAMMY’s.
Something outrageous will happen, whether it be Cee-Lo jumping on stage to crash Justin Timberlake’s acceptance speech or a crazed fan shaking his ass on stage during a good Dylan performance . Of course nothing beats a strikingly alien like Bowie laying one on Aretha.
Beyoncé is performing this year and she is our pick for the “Fall From Grace,” or the “Whitney Houston.” How do you go from this amazing vocal performance to being a crackhead? Oh yeah, you marry Bobby Brown.
There may even be a super-group-super-sing-along-cover. If this happens hopefully the selection of who is performing is done more carefully than in the past. For example, we don’t want to hear John Mayer doing any type of Soul cover, and for the love of God please don’t invite Stevie Wonder to do a Beatles song:
Notable artists who have never won a GRAMMY (not including the honorary awards) include Queen, Led Zeppelin, Bowie, Neil Young, The Grateful Dead, The Who, Credence Clearwater Revival, Bob Marley, Parliament, and pretty much any musician that didn’t have a #1 single or record at some point. Who really cares about all those geezers anyway? At least Milli Vanilli got what they deserved.
There will be someone that wins and totally brings us down by reminding us, as Phil The Intern says: “It’s bad enough that the most important and exciting music of the year rarely wins anything or is even nominated, but that the winners are often a conglomeration of the worst music in the American consciousness and the show merely perpetuates the myth that music is safe, easily accessible and ready to be dressed up in a costume and presented to millions of people on demand.” Easy PTI, you’re starting to sound like Eddie Vedder.
And finally, we all know the real reason to watch the GRAMMY Awards is to see what those hilarious presenters are going to do! Samuel L. Jackson and Nelly Furtado got nothing on Paul and John.
Check out a ton more of good, bad and just plain crazy performances after the jump!