The Real Show at The Superbowl is Halftime!

Every year millions of fans eagerly anticipate one of the most significant and meaningful sporting  events of the year, The Super Bowl! Wait, that's not right. The Super Bowl usually sucks and is about as boring and meaningful as a George Dubya State of the Union Address.  What we really look forward to is the Super Bowl HALFTIME Show...and of course the commercials.  This year Prince shall lead the festivities at Super Bowl XLI down in Miami, FL.  We were hoping for a guest spot from Timberlake (making it a record three Superbowl appearances), but after his antics at the Golden Globes who knows if Prince is even speaking to him.  In any case we thought it would be fun to take a look at some past Super Bowl Halftime Performances just to remind us of how overblown, bloated, perplexing and yet thoroughly entertaining they can be.  Oh, and here's some useless knowledge for you: The modern day Super Bowl Halftime Show, with a well known Rock/Pop performer as opposed to a marching/college band, started in Superbowl XV with New Kids On The Block.  That must have been a tough game to watch.  Check out a list of every Superbowl performance here. Go BEARS!

(Note: For some reason this post is not showing up in its entirety when using some versions of Internet Explorer.  if you are still using IE, you're an idiot and go get Firefox already. And for those of you too inept or lazy to get Firefox, you can click the Super Bowl link in each entry.)

SUPER BOWL XVII - MICHAEL JACKSON (1993)

Wasn't it nice when Michael Jackson wasn't just a freak, but also a pretty damn good performer.  This medley of about five songs, including "Billie Jean" and "Black or White" serves as a pretty good reminder that before he went completely loony, the guy was pretty talented.

SUPER BOWL XXXV - AEROSMITH, N SYNC, BRITNEY SPEARS, MARY J. BLIGE AND NELLY (2001)

This is one of the most insane ten minutes in the history of television.  Here's the short version: Timberlake wears a green leather coat and shoots fire from his hands, Steven Tyler does a Olsen Twin impression, Britney Spears looks healthy AND skinny, Justin and Britney sing on "Walk This Way" together and lots of shiz blows up throughout.  Watch it. I t will be the most entertaining ten minutes of your week.

SUPER BOWL XXVI - U2 (2002)

I am not a huge U2 fan, but every time I see them perform live I find myself completely enthralled and entertained.  Their rendition of "Where The Streets Have No Name" and tribute to 9/11 at Super Bowl XXVI is some pretty powerful stuff...that's saying quite a bit from someone as jaded as I am.  Run Bono, run!

SUPER BOWL XXXVII - STING AND NO DOUBT (2003)

What is the deal with Sting?  The guy could walk into a room, sit down and not say a word but still somehow piss off everybody in there.  This performance pales in comparison to the previous ones posted here.  Yeah the sound isn't all that great, but either are the people playing. Eh.

SUPER BOWL XXXIX - PAUL McCARTNEY (2005)

It's Paul McCartney.  He plays "Drive My Car" into "Get Back" on Bass and then moves over to the piano for an insane version of "Live and Let Die."  It really doesn't get much better than this.  The guy is the best at what he does.  My only complaint is that after this he did "Hey Jude," but I guess you gotta do what the people want.

 

SUPER BOWL XXXIV - PHIL COLLINS, CHRISTINA AGUILERA, ENRIQUE IGLESIAS, TONI BRAXTON AND EDWARD JAMES OLMOS (2000)

Probably the worst Halftime show in the history of the Super Bowl.  Who wants to see "theater" between halves of a football game?  No surprise that Disney produced it.  For anyone that is jumping on the "Phil Collins is cool again" bandwagon, just watch this performance...if you make it that far.  Edward James Olmos. wtf?

 

SUPER BOWL XXXVIII - JANET JACKSON, KID ROCK, P. DIDDY, NELLY AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE (2004)

Well we all know about the infamous "wardrobe malfunction" with Janet Jackson and Timberlake, but at this point I would think the NFL doesn't regret that nearly as much as having Kid Rock perform.  Oh goodness he hurts my ears.  The clip below is of Janet and Justin.  Watch Kid Rock scream right here.

SUPER BOWL XL - THE ROLLING STONES (2006)

They are cartoons.  At this point they are merely a parody of the greatest Rock band of all time.  But even when they're a shadow of what they once were, Keith resembles the walking dead and Mick looks like a chicken, they still sound better than most.  Here's "Start Me Up."

So that's a look from some of the greatest moments in the history of the Super Bowl Halftime Show.  There are some that I really wanted to see but couldn't find (like the Blues Brothers and James Brown in Super Bowl XXXI) so if you know where they're hiding please post in the comments.  I leave you with a link to the Halftime Show for Super Bowl XXIII, the first ever network broadcast in 3D starring Elvis Presto. Awesome.