Jan 19, 2007

Steven Seagal will Kick your Ass...and Rock your World!


Don't look now but Steven Seagal is out for justice and he won't stop until he Rocks it out of you.  It's true, the former action star/hair model is on tour right now in the UK promoting his current record Mojo Priest.  I know it almost sounds too good to be true, but it isn't.  In fact I have the MP3s to prove it!  I say we all band together and call our local radio stations to request the (soon to be hit) song "Alligator Ass."  I mean if you think about it, what's better than Steven Seagal singing a song called "Alligator Ass?"  I'll tell you what?  Steven Seagal singing "Alligator Ass," "Talk To My Ass," AND "Gunfire in A Juke Joint."  I'm not sure, but I think Mojo Priest might just be a concept album, or rather, THE concept album.  Tommy and The Wall don't got a thing on double SS and his Gibson Firebird.  I was thinking that perhaps for his next record, SS should write songs based entirely on his film career.  How awesome would a record with the following track listing be:

1. Under Siege
2. Above The Law
3. Marked For Death
4. Hard To Kill
5. On Deadly Ground
6. Out For Justice
7. Fire Down Below
8. Exit Wounds
9. Hidden Track aka "Awesome Mountain Dew Commercial"

I'm pretty sure at least one version of each of these song titles was actually recorded by a band in the 80s. If anyone wants to make up some lyrics PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do so and send them to me.  I will set them to the most powerful music this world has ever seen!

While the flanger tinged "Blues" that Steven Seagal is kicking out might be hard to swallow, it's by no means even close to the most offensive "celebrity rock" floating around out there.  What's the worst you think you've heard?  I don't think anyone will ever surpass the horrid mess that is 30 Seconds To Mars.  But what do i know?  I'm just a Blogger.  That gives me an idea.  Perhaps a post compiling the history of Rock & Roll through a collection of songs all sung, performed or written by celebrities.  I like it.  Now I have something to do this weekend!

Steven Seagal - Alligator Ass.mp3

Steven Seagal - Talk To My Ass.mp3

And look, someone already made a promo for the Steven Seagal My Movies To Music  record!





 

Posted by nixon under Streams & Downloads on Fri: 19-01-07 04:33 PM CDT | 0 Comments | Permalink
 
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