John Mayer vs. TMZ

[To read more from John Mayer, check out his own blog.  He's also happy to answer any questions you might have for him.]

The US policy towards Iran:

"The United States will take no action that extends legitimacy to the ayatollahs in Iran."

My policy towards TMZ:

"John Mayer will take no action that extends legitimacy to the lie-peddlers at TMZ."

However, hypothetically, if someone were to describe me as "[Jessica Simpson's] troublingly-tressed borefriend," I would respond with the following list of things that are interesting about me:

1. I'm a world famous blues guitarist and songsmith.
2. I have a legion of adoring fans.
3. I've won important awards, earned gold records, and even asshole music critics can't help but love me.
4. I'm a dynamic human being.
5. I'm dating one of the prettiest women of all-time.
6. I could buy and sell websites like TMZ fifty times over, I can only assume.
7. I excel at different types of art, including comedy and birdhouse creation.
8. I tell the truth, which is an interesting trait in a world of liars (hint: I'm talking about you, TMZ).

Frankly, gossip rags are starting to bore me. Also, my tresses are just fine, thank you.

-JM