John Mayer To Sleep With Fans in Vegas!

Hey, this is John Mayer, writing about my big summer tour: 

Looking forward to playing Vegas tonight, where things STAY in Vegas. I've got plans that are gonna need to be buried, if you catch my drift. Plans like:

* Sleeping with fans.
* Gambling.
* Smoking weed.
* That's pretty much it, but isn't that enough?

After this recent break-up with Jessica, which is final, I can assure you*, I'm ready to party again! Really party! Then I've got to go back to California. ~SIGH~ Touring's a bitch.

I just played two shows in California -- if you were there, you were probably screaming for me. God knows everyone always does. Still, one reviewer panned my show, saying I don't have a sense of humor. What? Hello? Does "stand-up comedian John Mayer" ring a bell? I'd like to see Ben Folds get up on stage at a comedy club. I mean, I love the little guy, but he'd poo his pants. Reviewers - what do they know? Not much, apparently.

From the road,

JM


*Note: I cannot assure you that this will be the case.