John Mayer Hates Fat People

[To read more from John Mayer, check out his own blog.  He's also happy to answer any questions you might have for him.] 

An Open Letter To Fat People

Dear Fat People,

Hey guys. So, as one of you already knows, Jessica and I went to see my friend David's blues show at a place called "Hotel Cafe" the other night. It should have been a good time, except for the following problems:

1. The place is called "Hotel Cafe." That's lame -- pick one and roll with it.
2. I kept having to poke Jessica to keep her awake. Embarassing...
3. There was a really sweaty fat guy who wouldn't stop talking to me.

Look, I don't hate fat people, but I hate the fact that fat people are so hard to maneuver around. Normally when a boring fan won't shut up, I can just say, "I gotta..." and then push him aside. However, try doing that with a fat person. It's incredibly difficult and awkward.

So I'm currently preparing a Fat Fan Emergency Kit for the summer tour, complete with limited edition CDs, posters, Pizza Bites, Double Stuff Oreos, Bearclaws, and Cadbury Cream Eggs. If I can't move you guys by force, I'll move you with kindness!

But just so we're clear, this food and merch bribe is so you'll leave me alone. Please don't start following me around just because you know I have Cream Eggs. They're 65 cents at Walgreens -- buy your own!

Thanks,

JM