It's Hollywood week on American Idol, the time where the best are separated from the crap. Where the men are separated from the boys, and the Fergies are separated from the Beyonces. However, last night I just saw crap, boys and Fergies. Where are all the good singers? Where is the next Carrie Underwood? Kelly Clarkson? Hell, where is the next William Hung?
I think there's a conspiracy on American Idol. They're purposefully keeping the good singers away from the cameras and focusing on the bad. Maybe it's because bad singers are more fun to watch than the good ones, or maybe it's because there are really no good singers this year. Hard to believe, but that's how it seems.
For one thing they've nixed to the two hottest singers last night. The country chick with the big boobs, who in the auditions spun a story about how her father died when he blasted a hole through his head. And then Bailey, the girl who spent less time practicing with her group and flirted with the boys instead. This gives me two less reasons to watch the show now, because while a little Fantasia is always pleasing to the ears, it's not so pleasing on the eyes, and let's face it, many of us would rather having something nice to look at on stage.
What's with Paula Abdul? Why does she seem a little less drunk these days? During the auditions she looked drunk as a skunk, but now she seems to be getting herself together? Maybe she realized what a pill-popper she looked like a few months ago when the auditions where being shot. Maybe she's been in Wonderland with Lindsay Lohan, in secret. There's a story out today about how she's denying she's ever used drugs, er, "recreational drugs." Well, Paula, do you know what century you're living in? People don't do cocaine or heroin these days! They take pills! Doctor prescribed ones! Valium! Xanax! Methadone! Ambien! Percocet! Viagra! Why bother with drugs that can land you jail? These days it's all about the legit drugs!
Well we'll really start to see whether or not she's cleaned up when we get to the live shows. Last year she was a train wreck; we have verifiable proof she was gooped up on gock.
Okay, tonight well know who's in the final 24, so tune in tomorrow and we'll go through our picks to win the competition. Yes, we're probably being a little presumptuous in picking a winner already, but what's the fun of waiting till the final 12?